my sleep paralysis demons: a thread
1. Boris Johnson (aka bamm bamm from the flintstones) - he likes standing in the corner of my room and whispering sweet things like “fuck the working class” and “help me i don’t know how many children i have”, the usual
2. Theresa May
she cries in the corner of my room at 3am after putting ‘might leave the EU, ops?x’ on her conservative snapchat group chat and being ignored. i’d put dancing queen on for her but she honestly doesn’t deserve the pleasure

3. David Cameron. What is there to say about this man, apart from the fact that he stuck his cock in a pig’s coochie? rumour has it his manhood still reeks of ham.
4. Maggie Thatcher - as a regular sleep paralysis demon, she walks around my room threatening to privatise my wardrobe and steals my glass of milk. she also uses slurs regularly the ancient bitch
5. Dom Cummings - defo a nonce. new sleep paralysis demon but definitely the weirdest. runs around my room asking for directions to durham. steer clear
