Classic Christian Evasion: “Let me send you a rant about how you’re an awful person & tell you to basically sit down & shut up. But then conclude said message with ‘Grieving and deeply concerned’ because saying so intercepts the possibility that my intentions could be sinful.”

The purpose of concluding a deeply hurtful message with “I’m grieving for you,” or, “I’m so concerned for you,” is that it allows the speaker to avoid facing any guilt for the hurt he knows he just caused. He was just “grieving” over your sin. He’s not at fault because *you* are.

This language by its nature makes you feel like maybe you should take to heart all the hurtful things he just said because it was coming from a place of “concern” after all, and what if he’s right? Incredibly hurtful language starts looking like love when it’s not.

All to say, if you receive a message from a Christian that concludes with a tribute to their “grieving heart,” it should be a red flag. Look over their message, have a trusted friend read it to see if their accusations have any basis in reality. And when they don’t, disregard.