For a long time my brain has felt completely full like if you open Task Manager on me you& #39;d see I& #39;m running 100% processor and memory.

Anything new I try to do requires giving up something else, anybody I try to get in touch with means cutting someone else off for a while.

It seems like most of those tasks are not doing anything productive. There& #39;s too many programs set to open on start up and they just sit there taking up resources but not being used.

I guess this is all part of PTSD hypervigilance: hold all options in mind in case of emergency.

Acutely aware of this at the moment because my now-established daily reading routine seems to have shut off some other possibilities and my desire to establish a similar daily writing routine feels impossible unless I can find some other processes to shut down as well.

When you& #39;re in the habit of getting through the day a certain way, deciding to just give up on comfortable but useless habits is kind of terrifying, like you& #39;re opening up a vulnerable spot.

Again, PTSD hypervigilance at work. Everything feels like a potential threat.

Anyway, this thread would have been better posted last week for mental health awareness but my brain weasels don& #39;t conform to your schedule.