For a long time my brain has felt completely full like if you open Task Manager on me you'd see I'm running 100% processor and memory.

Anything new I try to do requires giving up something else, anybody I try to get in touch with means cutting someone else off for a while.

It seems like most of those tasks are not doing anything productive. There's too many programs set to open on start up and they just sit there taking up resources but not being used.

I guess this is all part of PTSD hypervigilance: hold all options in mind in case of emergency.

Acutely aware of this at the moment because my now-established daily reading routine seems to have shut off some other possibilities and my desire to establish a similar daily writing routine feels impossible unless I can find some other processes to shut down as well.

When you're in the habit of getting through the day a certain way, deciding to just give up on comfortable but useless habits is kind of terrifying, like you're opening up a vulnerable spot.

Again, PTSD hypervigilance at work. Everything feels like a potential threat.

Anyway, this thread would have been better posted last week for mental health awareness but my brain weasels don't conform to your schedule.