So, yesterday as Aspen and I are sitting in the living room of my house, we hear movement coming from the ceiling. As we sit there listening we finally determine that whatever it is, it's not small. By the sounds of the movements we guessed snake.

So I went ahead and drank a couple beers, because I knew I was going to need some kind of liquid confidence to crawl up in the attac with ol chupacabra. Couple beers in I was ready to roll.
Sorry for the language and gun.
It takes alot to go head first into the unknown.

I finally got all the way up in there and started walking around looking for the beast. Why I didnt go to the corner of the house that we heard him in first I dont know. But when I did, i wasnt quite expecting to see an anaconda.

So I go back to the little hole thing and go to tell Aspen we have a slight situation and I'm not sure how we are suppose to get him out. She decides then is the time to tell me we need boyfriends. Like we dont have boyfriends because we do stupid shit like this.

She then recommends just going into the living room and shooting the shotgun into the ceiling. I cant stand her. So I rig up some long stick thing with a hook and grab a feed sack, oh and the pistol and go back up. But she got to come this time.

We get up there. I crawl into the lower level of the attac with this thing and he decides he wants to raise his head and look at me. Like bitch no. I panicked pointed the pistol and shot. Swear I hit him. Boy was I wrong. This pissed off 10ft long NOPE ROPE comes at me.

I'm telling ya I couldnt move fast enough. I go to crawl up through the studs back to the upper level and my fatass gets hip locked. All while Aspen is screaming telling me she cant find the thing. I finally squeeze my big ass out and look back down and all I see is his tail.

He went under the insulation I was standing on. I dont even know if I shot a hole in the ceiling or injured him. We sat up there on beams trying to find him. No luck so we got tf out.

The ol nope rope is still up there. I keep thinking hes going to come down and take revenge. Or the ol sayin where there's one there's two. Ya. If ya drive by and the house is burning down. Mind ya own.