tfatws but its a crack fanfic made by me: a thread

sam, high with pain drugs after a mission: what would my stripper name be?

bucky, also high with drugs: big bird

sam: thats nice. you can be metal dick

bucky: because my dick is hard?

sam: nah you're just a prick that's why

sam after a fight, yelling at all the unconscious bodies surrounding him: IM A BAD BITCH, YOU CANT KILL ME

bucky: thats a really good instagram caption

sam, looking behind him: I KNOW RIGHT

sam: you got milk in your fridge?

bucky: why would i put the cow inside the fridge of COURSE SHE'S OUTSIDE GO OUTSIDE IF YOU WANT SOME FUCKING MILK WILSON

bucky: sam you need to come here as soon as you can pepper says we're on babysitting duty

sam: for morgan?

bucky: no dumbass it's peter

peter: say cheese mr bucky!

sam entering the room: why the fuck is he holding my phone?

bucky: and i oop

sam: you what?

sam, gently tapping bucky's shoulder: uh... bucky?

bucky, taking off one earbud: yeah?

sam: .... are you listening to taylor swift right now?

bucky: uh.... no?

sam, eating bucky's chocolate pudding from the fridge: damn this is actually good

also sam: wait why do i hear boss music??

bucky: happy birthday sam, i made you a present

sam: why are you handing me your phone?

bucky: just open it

sam: ... what is this

bucky: i made you a falcon fancam on twitter do you like it

sam: why aren't you following me on twitter, barnes? answer me

bucky: because i want a skinny follow ratio and your tweets are annoying

sam: what do you mean my tweets are annoying

bucky: you always reply to that weird chris evans guy

sam: THATS BECAUSE I STAN HIM!

end of thread because my meds are wearing off good bye