So, I'm starting to get settled after the last couple of irl weeks being bonkers. A few things I'd rather not publically speak on, new jobs and interviews, and a bunch of game design things I still need to sort out. (Yes, @DeePennyway I need to get me a personal Trello ha )

I think once I can settle into a routine and balance my workload, I'll be back on track with knocking out all of these projects and I'm super excited to get everything out and in front of everyone here #ttrpg!

Sometimes, I feel like I'm just playing catch up with either myself or with other indie devs around here. I just want to be recognized for my skills as a dev (I see you folks out there giving me shout outs, you have my undying appreciation) and I just gotta like... chill.

There's no point in rushing things ya know? Pointless comparisons won't get you anywhere either. Doesn't do much to stymie my anxiety though.

Thing is though, I share my thoughts because I know somebody else might be thinking the same thing too ya dig? We gotta hang in there!

Easier said than done though right?

Right.

But ya gotta do it, or else you'll end up being a salty ass hater and nobody likes that feel me?

So whats the tech? How do I avoid this self sabatoging setup?

Everyone's got different coping skills and capacity for handling shit...

So yeah, the answer changes based on your situation, values, and skill set.

For me, I like to take the time to reflect and write my thoughts down. (Helps when they are read and I can just talk with people, but its not necessary) If I can visualize the issue than I can best it.

That's my step one. Ask questions. Figure out what it really is you're tripping over. Lets practice!

Previously in this thread I said I was worried about other devs getting more shine than me.

Now I ask, "Why does that bother me?"

Here, I must compare my answers to my values

(This started as just venting/status update and now im meandering into advice? OK, Nick you're being weird but go off I guess?)

My values being:
-I care about people and want them to succeed.
-I believe in healthy competition. The kind where we grow and learn from one another

Continued:

-I would rather take a loss before causing harm to those that don't deserve it.
-I believe in learning as much as I can so I can be the best

Basically this is what I believe in as a game dev. I primarily want to be the best I can be to help as many people as possible

So when I weigh this against "So and so has gotten more accolades than I have" what does it mean?

A few things. My guesses being.

1. They are a strong competitor. I should watch and learn from them instead of hating.
2. Their success more than likely does not hinder my own.

Continued list.

3. I should be happy about their accomplishments (given they aren't a dillhole) as it means we all have a better shot as indie devs cause that's kind of how the market works no?

So with that in mind, I'm good.

I can now recontextualize my issue into " What can I learn from this competitor's success? What habits and strengths do they have that I can adapt for my self? " and similar questions that ultimately lead to me questioning my skill set.

When looking at your skills in this way its important to understand that there's a lot of shit involved in obtaining them on your end and on those you're comparing yourself too. If you're feeling bad about yourself at the end of the exercise you're in the wrong frame of mind.

The goal is to consider what you currently have compared to your current goals not to tear yourself or *others* down (the later might be even MORE important. See, in doing this we are ignoring the adage of not comparing yourself to others and instead...

... Learning how to do it in a way that is healthy and conducive to your personal development.)

So take stock of your abilities and ask yourself (remember to be kind to yourself):

What do you have in common with your competitor?
What makes you different from them?

More...

...

Of the things that are different, what are the most useful traits they have?
Of these what seems to be the easiest and hardest to adapt or ktherwose acquire?
How much energy are you willing to expend to make these changes?

More...

And finally, what can you do to circumvent the things we are unwilling to do on our own?

Last two questions are important because we aren't all super efficient autodidatic polymaths. There's limits to the time and energy required to gain and improve skill. Thats why we hire folk

Once you answer these questions and form a strategy though, I can assure you things will get easier. Everything in life is just a serious of big problems made up of smaller pieces. If you see the cracks in between them you can rip those fuckers out!

So stop worrying I guess.
Instead, take a deep breath, analyze your situation and learn to ask the right questions. Take that information, summon your courage, and take action.

This thread of course is as much for me as its for you reader. So, I hope I helped?