[DON'T OPEN this thread if you are sensitive with topics like depression and all that or if you just don't want to see negative stuff on your TL. This is just about me and shit I've been dealing with for so long I have to let it out. You've been warned.] —

— So honestly, there's no good way to start off this thread nicely so; I have depression. Really bad depression. I'm really sick of it but it's there, jabbing at me and my mental health for so damn long now it's driving me crazy. I try to be happy or "act" —

— happy and it probably adds more strain if anything. I'd like to get help, and maybe I will someday, I just can't afford professional help. I did speak out that I've not been feeling well in terms of my mental health but this thread right here is just —

— really everything and confirming everything. It has definitely gotten noticeably worse and at this point, I can't afford it to get worse. I'm still trying to piece my life together, I'm still trying to find my worth in this world, I'm still trying to apply —

— myself like I'm not worthless. I have a job now, I'm graduating; and while those things help it isn't enough. Everything I do feels hollow and I feel empty inside. I just stopped giving an ounce of a shit to everything and I on God cannot tell you why. —