i can’t believe i’m going to say this but i think i need a partner with the capacity to get me to argue & can take it when they awaken the beast in me.

i’m too self-contained. i’m seeing this now. it’s a great trait to have for sure, because it gives me time & space to deal with my emotions in my own time

but i think i can benefit from in the moment conflict that unravels me a little.

this feels so counterintuitive to the program that being self-contained is safe. but i see the program for what it is, because my body is responding well to unraveling. lmao.

i’m intuitively feeling that i need someone who will shake me a little & push me out of my comfort zone. not to be conflated with abuse & violation of boundaries.

i’m everybody’s rock. & that’s fine. but i need space to not be that, sometimes.