1/ Attention citizens! Your Dept. Of Pandemia is pleased this Virus Memorial Day to present "The Thing Killed Them, and Them is Us: A Whole Lotta Names" - tragic stories we found after semi-extensive Googling. Remember, if the virus didn't kill you, you don't count!
2/ Bertha McGuire, Des Moines, 104: "Really wanted to see 105."
Ned Qualley, Boston, 55: "Clean for a decade until lockdowns canceled his NA meetings."
Fred Thomas, Seattle, 78: "Diabetes couldn't keep him from loving cake; had highest HbA1c levels his physician had ever seen."
3/ Ignacio Ramirez, LA, 43: "Suffered stroke, too scared to go to hospital; test negative."
Paul Wentworth, Queens, 87: "Had just survived fourth heart attack. Loving children called him 'Papa Bear.'"
Brad Falle, 49, Hartford: "Killed himself after losing his real-estate agency."
4/ Dolores Clay, Chicago, 99: "Had Alzheimer's and didn't know own name; even her family wasn't upset."
James Hassan, New York, 28: "Fictional physcian whose case was too good to check."
Dan Weiss, Westchester, 72: "No positive test, but totally could have been the virus."
197/ Sabrina Sterling, San Antonio, 32: "Shot in head; friends say the virus pulled the trigger."
Henry Porter, Jacksonville, 6: "Savagely beaten to death by mother's boyfriend over three-day period - too bad he didn't have school."
351/ Has Your esteemed and extremely hard-working Dept. Of Pandemia made its point yet? Or do we need to beat you over the head even more? Because we can. It's why we're here. Attention citizens!
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