Talking to @infamousfiddler about privilege the other day. Everyone gets some of it. But I don't think we can call the people who come into our lives privilege in quite that way, even if it's a privilege to know and love them. They're luck and timing and effort, not assets.

I'm not always great at friendship. I tend to assume that if I take any effort at all, I'll be abandoned, and so when I start to feel like a burden or like I'm not good enough in some way, I retreat hard.

This also means I'll stay long after it ceases to be good for me, desperately trying to force myself back into pots that I've outgrown and that don't leave my roots any room to breathe.

What's...funny? Ironic? Annoying? About that is that I WANT my friends to take work. I want them to ask for ridiculous things. I want to be able to make an effort for them, to show how much I love them.

So the very behavior that makes me pull back from a friendship (oh no! I am A Burden! I will no longer be loved! I MUST RETURN TO THE SWAMP TO DIE) is a behavior I want to encourage in my friends. Give me fetch quests! Make me do for you!