Today's Life With Kitten: The orange trees were moved outside for the season. They shed sticky-sap-covered leaves all over the floor. In the minutes between moving the trees and coming back to vacuum the leaves, Wispurr found them. Rolled in them.

Imagine Katamari Damacy only with a live kitten and everything the kitten comes in contact with. We caught the kitten, plucked the leaves off, washed the fur.

Ten seconds later, the kitten found more leaves and rolled in them.

We have vacuumed the entire downstairs, the stairs, the landing.

Three times.

We've washed the kitten FIVE TIMES.

He keeps finding sticky leaves.

I'm about to go for the clippers and have a naked cat.

Himself posits that Wispurr enjoys getting baths. He's remarkably chill and sits in the tub purring while he's washed.

He sits and purrs when given any and all attention, this is normal. The only thing he hates is the blow dryer so he is in the bathroom with a space heater.

This means he is banished to Jail, in his kitten mind, and he howls us the saddest of songs wondering why he has been Banished Forever.

We take turns being in there with him but only one human? What did he do to be so cruelly mistreated?

I keep threatening to shave him naked and put the pictures online to cat shame him.

The problem is: Kitten has zero shame.

Sigh.