(CN/CW: indirect discussion of COVID-19; social anxiety)

We got an early glimpse of this with news of the first post-lockdown concert held in Arkansas on 18 May.

I've had a somewhat tenuous, on-again-off-again relationship with live music in my life, and I have some thoughts. https://twitter.com/metalsucks/status/1263543004717088769

Up until I graduated high school, the number of live events of any kind (concert, play, musical) that I attended is stuck in the single digits (IIRC). It wasn't until after college that I started really getting into it. 2011 was the peak, when I averaged one event every 4-5 days.

At the height of the days when I was going to shows, I needed it, & loved it, & needed it. At that point I thought there could be nothing I wanted more (except maybe, you know, hanging out with my cat/s). Even when considering a more selective number I get to, I love them all.

Despite a brief resurgence in the past couple years, after 2013 my calendar dropped off precipitously. Life got busy, I was dealing with things, and I altogether kind of fell away from the scenes, websites, and anything else I would keep up with to even track shows and tours.

I had 5 events coming up later in 2020 before lockdown:
1) the rest of Pittsburgh Opera's 2019-20 season was canceled
2) Maryland Deathfest XVIII is postponed to next May, but I find that a bit optimistic
3) Roger Waters' North American tour is postponed, not yet rescheduled

4) Migration Fest III rescheduled to Oct 2021. It *could* happen--but new circumstances make that questionable--if the venue, a local pillar, is even still around by then
5) Rammstein haven't yet officially rescheduled/postponed their N. American stadium tour, to begin in August

Now here's the thing. I struggle with social anxiety. People I know, fine, but strangers/acquaintances less so. The more, the worse.

It's a bit of a strange contradiction that in the past I've had little issue with going to shows. Because for me, it's not a social environment.

Sure, massive crowds of people are ... not great, but when I'm at shows, I'm there for the music/performance. If it's crowded, sweaty, hot, I can deal, as long as there's no expectation to interact with people around me. If I can get lost in the crowd & stay focused, I'm good.

Now, in the past I've been to a few shows that were not well attended, the venue mostly empty. Tbh those were worse than the biggest crowds. Despite the artists' best efforts, there was no energy in the room, & worse, every single person who WAS there stood out like a lighthouse.

(There's a reason I've never been to a house show.)

Which brings us back to expectations of live events for the foreseeable future. It sounds very much like a mirror of those few low attendance shows I've been to in the past, a place that's deeply uncomfortable for me. "Never say never," but be that as it may... I think I'm done?

Experiences with social anxiety vary from person to person, but for me, there's little worse than a huge crowd of people--yet one of those few things is standing out like a sore thumb because there's very few faces around to look at or deflect attention.

I was ambivalent about going to Maryland Deathfest next year even before COVID led to this year's event being rescheduled (they say, presumptively). For a few different reasons, I figured going to this year's festival would've been my last hurrah. Now, last year's probably was.

Especially for rock, metal, or punk there's a level of interdependence between crowd & artist. A roiling, surging, moshing audience feeds off the band, & vice versa. As some metal luminaries have reflected, social distancing at an average metal show is about as feasible as seats.

COVID will greatly impact all live performance, but that's especially true for a genre already on the fringe both artistically & financially, bands barely scraping by for their passion, depending largely on small, indie venues that also must be packed to make any event worthwhile

And, look: Art is good, and needed, and necessary. I have before and certainly now want to do everything I can to support the arts, the organizations behind them, the artists who create and perform, the venues where events are held.

That said...

For several reasons, I was already of the mind that after this year I'd likely cut back (even more) on live events.

Now?

......

As a note, discussion here & in articles like the QRT has focused around live music--not theater. Though changes are very much in store there, too.

Anyway, this is all a bit presumptuous. There are reasonable expectations for what we'll see in the future, but it's far too early to actually tell at this point. I can only speak for myself, and again, I'm not exactly a social person to begin with.

FWIW, check in with your local theater & arts organizations for how you can support them--& the artists THEY support--while they're shut down. Support small indie artists & creators online, many of whom rely on conventions that are cancelled; most have a Patreon or some such.

Check in on your local music venues and promoters, especially the small indie ones that don't have ties to Live Nation, Ticketmaster, etc. Many have active fundraisers for staff & upkeep, & many belong to @nivassoc in an effort toward financial support for these small businesses.

I don't really have a conclusion. This is more a minor collection of thoughts then anything else. So let me just end this thread by saying STAY HOME, you jerks, and WEAR A GODDAMN MASK.

Stay safe, everyone