I’m gonna quickly give a rundown of how I was able to detach from my narcissist ex (together 4 years) for anybody who’s currently struggling to do so. It’s veryyy different from a normal breakup so it’s difficult for family and friends to understand and help you through

Ok first I cut off my hair. Hair holds energy and I wanted his gone. My hair was falling out throughout our relationship any way (guess my brain knew before I knew that my hair was carrying toxicity) https://mobile.twitter.com/nu_mindframe/status/895272183009771525

Next I did scalp messages and would hang upside down off my bed (like doing a handstand) for a few minutes each day. I wasn’t sure why I was doing this. My intuition just told me. I now know that it was to ground myself and also to bring blood flow to my brain

Being with a narcissist makes you feel very unsafe and ungrounded doing the headstands, helped that. And also being in a stressful relationship blocks blood flow to the brain so the scalp massages helped to alleviate that

Next I took up to 5 showers a day. I know that’s extreme. But this is an extreme type of breakup. The shower was helping to calm my body and the warm water was making me feel like I was getting a nonstop hug

Next: drugs. Hear me out I had a chronic illness (from being in that relationship) and had to be on morphine to stop the pain. I truly believe the morphine helped get me through and NO I’M NOT TELLING YOU TO START USING DRUGS

If your nervous and digestive system is extremely shot to the point where it’s making you sick (common for narc abuse victims), you may need to get medical attention. I’m not saying drugs are the answer. I’m saying, I noticed drugs helped me so maybe medical care will help you

Again, this is not a normal breakup. It can throw your body and mind off balance to the point where you can’t function from the pain. So do not be afraid of getting medical attention. That’s all I’m saying.

Next, I went vegan and stared juicing. This is the part that made the most significant impact!! I kid you not my depression and anxiety cut in half within the first few months. If I didn’t experience it myself I wouldn’t have believed it at all

My body because addicted to the feeling that juicing gave me so it was very easy to do it every morning. It didn’t feel like a chore

Trauma and pain gets stored in your organs, so I think juicing also helped with flushing those out. I went through a terrible detox period the first week (felt like the flu and my emotions were extremely strong while I purged) but it was worth it

Next I started going to the gym. I would go on bodybuilder forums to get tips about nutrition and weight lifting. I lost a lot of weight in my relationship so working out helped me re-gain. 98 lbs on the left. 125 on the right. Taken a few months apart

My weight before I met him always stayed around 120 btw.
But working out also helped my mental health. Relieved a lot of stress. And it made me feel strong after being in a relationship that constantly made me feel weak and small

Next I started getting into spirituality. This is when I discovered Abraham Hicks and the law of attraction. I studied day and night because it was sooo interesting to me. That’s when I started on my spiritual path and that closer feeling to God worked wonders in my life

That’s why I’m always irritated when people say spirituality pulls you away from God because it did the direct opposite for me. It strengthened my relationship with Him and that’s the first time in my life that I experience true peace of mind

After about a year of doing all this I met a new guy. He kinda just came out of nowhere. And while I wouldn’t say he was part of me healing (I was doing that long before he showed up), he definitely added on to my peace because our relationship was healthy and balanced

We stayed together for about 8 months and then parted ways amicably. Very thankful that he crossed my path when he did

I think the most major thing that helped me with healing is also the fact that my ex didn’t have any social media whatsoever. If I had access to him and could check in on him, it definitely would’ve prolonged my healing process

So not checking the narcissist’s social media is crucial. Fight the urge. Even if you have to turn your phone off and go for a walk

And while I did most of this healing alone, I also have an amazing sister who spoke life over me everyday. She would tell me “one day you’re going to get married to someone who truly loves you” and she would say it with such conviction that it comforted me

So if you have a support system or even just one person who loves you, lean on them whenever you feel weak

And I’ll end this thread by saying that another reason I was able to heal is because I took action. I didn’t spend much time researching how to heal. I followed my intuition and took the steps necessary. Action is key

Nowadays we have so much info on the internet on how to heal (which is a blessing) but we spend so much time on the research stage that we don’t take the action required. Less research, less overthinking, more action