Good job, Calgary.
The only person in park who should should be chastised and convicted is the loud phone talker. #yyc

People in the park, with their pals, quietly visiting and having pops. Let's keep this part, Calgary.

I think there's a first date happening under a tree. She is wearing heels (wtf, ok, do you) and there is a big pretty pink flower between them. It didn't get there by itself. They are physically distancing-ish and I don't think either of 'em like that part.

Listen, Loud Phone Talker, no one cares that both your brothers have babies now. Not even the person on the other end of the line.

There's a reason he is your ex-boyfriend, LPT.

I'm not making much progress on the stack of New Yorkers I brought to the park. A date to my left and a LPT to my right. I can't focus under these circumstances.

Ok. There is a dude with a water gun. I'm gonna recruit him into my anti-LPT militia.

BOCCE! There is a mini-bocce game happening. I wanna play.

Careful with the one communal ball, dudes.

Listen, people. If you have an actual cooler with you, pouring whatever you pulled out of the cooler into a go-cup is not gonna help.

Also, no one cares as long as you're not a LPT or defying Dr. Hinshaw.

Omg the LPT is done.

There is peace in the park once again.

AND LPT IS BACK AT IT

Ok there is some sort of very communal handball game happening and I am skeptical whether they are all in the same bubble and if they ruin this for the rest of us so help me God.

Gah. Another fellow is talking on speakerphone. Chaos in the park.

Omg I am happy again. There are four people in a group, just over there. Clearly two + two. One of the twos has Old Dutch salt and vinegar chips (bag, not box, take what you can get) and physically distanced shared with with the other two by pouring some into a secondary vessel.

Ok, New Gals. Red solo cups? That's a step too far. Work with us here.

Oooh. Date update! They stayed long after their drinks were empty and now they are leaving and she is carrying the flowers and he is carrying her coat after she was struggling with it. Yay! He took both empties too. I don't know why she had a coat, but I likes how it played out.

This is all so civilized. So lovely. MAYBE WE CAN HAVE NICE THINGS!