namjin au where potato gun salesman seokjin tries to sell his product to unsuspecting potato farmer and self proclaimed potato advocate namjoon

might make this into a mini au tmrw!! (by “might” i mean i absolutely am bc i already photoshopped a picture of jin with a potato canon)

[namjin au] 1- no potatoes were harmed in the making of this au

[namjin au] 2- something about angry dramatic joon is mildly tantalizing

[namjin au] 3- would love to see what namjoon’s farmersonly profile might look like

[namjin au] 4- years of passive aggressive work emails have trained me for this moment

[namjin au] 5- real talk, i got distracted by pics of potato flowers and wasted maybe an hour of my morning reading the wiki page to learn more of their beauty

[namjin au] 6- professional joon has left the building

[namjin au] 7- yoongi is a honey farmer, should prob just end the au now huh cuz damn that’s adorable

[namjin au] 8- hey so i actually have like 5 more edits of jin holding potato launchers so uh i need to extend the au a little longer

[namjin au] 9- how many times do u think i’ll end up saying potato over the course of this au

[namjin au] 10- namjoon is the only man who can stop the potato massacre of 2020

[namjin au] 11-

[namjin au] 12- namjoon i respect your potato mission but.. seokjinnie cute

[namjin au] 13- hoseok, that phone background is superb

[namjin au] 14- another day, another potato au update

[namjin au] 15- fun fact i just had potato salad for lunch and wondered to myself if farmer joon would have a good recipe, so that’s where my brains at today

[namjin au] 16- u didn’t try very hard seokjin

[namjin au] 17- two roads diverged in a wood, and I- I took the one covered in potatoes

[namjin au] 18- spent a good chunk of my night last night thinking about potato sentience! so that’s cool

[namjin au] 19- that sure is a nice back

[namjin au] 20- a tale of two cities reference anyone? no? cool cool

[namjin au] 21- *shrimp heaven now voice* please seokjin, we can’t keep doing this

[namjin au] 22- drumroll pls for this video i’m about to post

[namjin au] 23- back at it again with the dumb edits: potato edition

[namjin au] 24- i will admit that i haven’t watched that vid since i made it 2 days ago bc it made me laugh too hard

[namjin au] 25- put honey in his shoes!! i think that’s sweet

[namjin au] 26- yes those r my slippers, no i did not actually prank myself with honey shoes

[namjin au] 27- i stayed up til 4am making a graduation vid for my brother and then was woken up at 7 by roof repairers, so i’m not in the right frame of mind for writing but here i go!

[namjin au] 28- last night i thought to myself “i can totally wrap up this au tmrw” and here i am today with 16 screenshots of a conversation that doesn’t push the plot at all

[namjin au] 29- au where jin is a magic 8 ball and all his answers r “oof r u sure THAT’S the question u wanna ask?”

[namjin au] 30- oh god we’re at 30 posts, someone hit me a w dictionary so i understand the meaning of mini

[namjin au] 31- since its not quite mini, we’ll call this an appetizer portion of an au. not quite an amuse bouche but not quite a full platter of nachos. a loaded potato skin of an au

[namjin au] 32-

[namjin au] 33-

[namjin au] 34- ok i’ll post more in a few hours, first i need to drink a lot of coffee and try to reshape my sleep deprived brain into something that produces jokes again

[namjin au] 35- ok i’m back but i spent the afternoon cleaning my bathroom with bleach so i have fewer brain cells than before Oops

[namjin au] 36- man!

[namjin au] 37- am i giving this supposed mini au a side plot? why yes! i am!

[namjin (and now apparently also taekook) au] 38-

[namjin au] 39- i too appreciate the farmer aesthetic of jungkook’s workout selfies

[namjin au] 40- taekook make it look so easy... namjin why can’t u just do it like them pls we’re approaching 50 posts Pls

[namjin au] 41- he didn’t come to play with that emoji game

[namjin au] 42- got me a city slicker!

[namjin au] 43- i’ll protect u taehyung

((to be deleted)) well dang! didn’t manage to wrap this up today either bc i have the resolve of a (u guessed it) potato. tomorrow! tomorrow is the day i figure out how to make namjin hold hands! please