good evening everyone, tonight i shall be ranking the 18 different cushions in my house

18th - green circle

-doesn’t fit with anything else in the house
-idk where she’s from, she just appeared one day
-grandma vibes

17th - ugly blue

-awful material
-about as soft as a cactus
-likes pineapple on pizza

16th - shiny grey

-uncomfortable
-thinks they really did something when in reality they did not
-a bit of a snob

15th - grandma’s house

-deffo old person vibes, but in a cute way?
-cottage energy
-low key shouldn’t have made it to this century

14th - shiny grey (the remix)

-slightly more comfortable than shiny grey (16th)
-about as fun as a funeral on a tuesday
-mint choc chip is their fave ice cream flavour (untrustworthy)

13th - fiber optic cable

-weird vibes
-not very comfortable
-definitely shops at m&s

12th - plain jane

-literally nothing to say
-comfortable but that’s it
-cuts the crusts off sandwiches

11th - 50 shades of grey

-can draw on it with your finger which is always fun
-didn’t reinvent the wheel but is still respected
-the colour of despair

10th - queen of piping

-cute piping around the outside, but that’s it
-went to asia on their gap year but it’s all they talk about
-owns a tea strainer

9th - afro girl

-the life of the party whether you like it or not
-changes hair colour every 2 weeks
-kinda fun but only in small doses