Because I can't sleep again I will tell you my story about my first rl crushed. (I'm sorry, it will be in english)

Dear my future self, if you publicly known in the future, delete this tweet.

Idk if I can call him first crush or "the thing that left unspoken". Tbh I hate this stories but it's my reality. I had crush on him about 5 years. "Crazy, stupid, love"
I friended with him around 1,5 yrs.

First time met him was in junior high, grade 7. That time we were new student who finally not lived in rainbows and bubble anymore. I overwhelmed bcs my jhs had 50 students classes. We were in different class tho. He introduced himself to me through my friend, and I smiled.

This happen before I had my girls squad. During that time we played, talked, did homework, etc together. Fyi, our parents know each other. We were different. I was smart, nerd, and stiff. He was prankster who like to teased ppl a lot, not that smart, and funny.

At grade 8, here we go. We celebrated christmas at our church. We helped our friends to confess and go out and be couple. We suceeded. And then, new semester begin.

We passed each other at school. I wanted to say hello. But, he just passed me like I didn't exist.

I turned my body and thought "Dude, WTF?!". Long time later me and him distanced. I missed him (maybe at this time I started to had crush on him). BUT, how the fuck we still meet everyday even we was in different class and in school that had over 2k students???

One day, his and my club joined exercide together. He was boyscout, I was in teen redcross. Because, I was afraid, shy, etc I asked help from my friend to asked him, "Why you stay away from me?".
Either my friend lied or he was telling the truth, he answered...

"I ashamed to be friend with her. My friends always mocked and teased me everytime I was with her"

I shocked. After that, I hold my tears until midnight at my house, so no one can hear me cried. I started not to care the day after but I couldn't.

Me and him still met every fuckin day. Coincidence and not. Ofc, we were in the same jhs, church, extra classes, bataknese organization.

I overheard my parents talked about he wanted to go to different high school than my "wannabe" high school.
Thanks God I can finally moved on

Such a plot twist in any series. I MET HIM in the same high school. FUCK. World, are you kidding me? During that period we still didn't greet each other even we in same group for religion extra classes, christmas project, etc.

And I still met him every day bcs his class was next to my bestie class.
During that time he dated all my friend that I know. Jeez.

I talked to him once idk for sure but it happened because he needed a book that I was the only one who had it...

And my friends, his girl, or my mom (I forgot) who persuaded me to lend him that book. I gave him the book and he returned it to me the next week with no conversation at all even a thanks.

2017, I moved on and didn't give a damn at all about him bcs that year is the most worst year in my live. I overwhelmed with my life and choose to didn't care and finally move on.

Maybe one day, if we met and I have the courage I will ask "What the fuck is happened"

Dear anyone who read this, you can comment this thread or not care at all it's fine.

I want hear ur opinion as well.