Thread on the most misunderstood character of all time, Asuka Langley Soryu from Neon Genesis Evangelion
this is going to be kinda long so grab some popcorn
We've all asked ourselves at some point when watching Evangelion for the first time, why does asuka act the way she does, why does she constantly abuse Shinji, basically, why is she such a bitch? Well the short answer is because she's extremely well written but lets go in detail
Asuka has one of the most complicated expressions of the tsundere archetype in all of anime, so let's do this in a sort of step-by-step approach. To really get what's going on, you have to understand her traumas.
We'll take this from the beginning and work our way to her state near the end of the anime, going into her breakdown.
The original wound - In the flashbacks it is revealed that Asuka suffered a traumatizing sequence of events back-to-back. Without giving away what started them, Kyoko (Asuka's mother) began having her own breakdown.
She started behaving very abnormally, even replacing Asuka with a doll which Kyoko was convinced was her real daughter. During this phase, Kyoko's husband cheated on her, something which Asuka discovered.
Asuka continues to feel ignored and neglected by her mother and father until she learns that she is going to become an Eva pilot, at which point she happily runs off to tell her mother in the hope of finally getting some acknowledgement from Kyoko.
What she finds instead is her mother hanging from the ceiling, the doll hanging nearby.
Let that last part sink in for a minute. Kyoko believed the doll was Asuka, and she hung it right before hanging herself.
Asuka is the one to discover the body. So at a very young age, she already has two related traumas: her mother being replaced, and her mother "replacing" her with a doll. From here, she develops a pathological fear of being replaced (and she likely associates it with death after)
So what does she have now? She is likely estranged from her father, and her behavior later in the anime gives us an idea of what she thinks of her "new mama" (more replacement damage).
But she has one special thing: she is going to be an Eva pilot, one of only two (so far) in the world, and people can't just walk up and take that away.
So she determines to become as great an Eva pilot as possible, and endures the pressure being put on her to excel academically, all to make herself more "elite."
She begins developing her artificial-ego as "The Great Asuka Langley Soryu." She also makes a resolution that ends up becoming very damaging to her own emotions: to never cry again.
So here she sets out to make herself seem like a strong and "fully independent" person.
The self-inflicted harm - Much of her own efforts to develop a defense against her pain simply turn into new causes of pain. She attempts to use her status as an elite-pilot to draw attention, praise, and approval.
But it has a major weakness: it is the ONLY thing she has under this new ego. Without the Eva, she has no fallback. She never shows that she has anyone she can rely on for support, and is completely relying on her piloting as a pillar for how she is "needed."
By resolving never to cry and make herself seem "strong", she forces herself to shut others out to avoid compromising her false-ego. This is what causes her to react with anger whenever someone actually does try to reach-out once they realize that something is wrong with her.
It doesn't stop there. She also attempts to demonstrate how great she is by attempting to put on a show of maturity, again coming back to her efforts to elicit approval from others. This is where she latches onto Kaji as a target.
I would contend here, AND I AM BEING COMPLETELY SERIOUS, that her "crush" on Kaji is just another aspect of her artificial-ego. Kaji is an adult man, and Asuka is trying to ramp-up the approval she gets from adults wherever she can.
If Kaji, an adult, were to acknowledge /her/ as an adult, it would be a huge boost to that false-ego. But he doesn't see her that way, and it makes part of her aware of the defects in her defenses. Keep in mind: she has SERIOUS abandonment issues.
Ultimately, her defenses fall apart. Shinji begins beating her synch-ratio with the Evas, implying better performance. The Angel Zeruel defeats her, and is itself later defeated by Unit-01 (Shinji's Eva) in berserker-mode.
Arael assaults her mind and forces her to not only re-live her traumas, but also causes her own inner-psyche to call out her facade for what it is: a massive lie.
Continuing on the themes from her self-harm, her highly developed false-ego is the only version of her that she has let other people see.
She wants help, she DESPERATELY wants to be helped, but to acknowledge that she needs help would destroy her own defense. Then it happens.
She starts to be outshined. She loses in battle. She is losing her image of greatness. She isn't the top of the class.
She is becoming /replaceable/.
And it destroys her.
Now let's discuss her relationship with Shinji
Throughout the series we see plenty of Asuka's apparent hatred of Shinji. In fact, this is probably what is behind most of her flanderization by some fan-works into a totalbitch. Shinji, for his part, suffers from abandonment issues of his own, but they were inflicted differently
Asuka routinely voices her disgust for how spineless Shinji is, and how he never stands up for himself. This amplifies the effect of seeing Shinji receiving approval from some of the NERV personnel (like Misato), and his increasing synch-rates.
But ultimately, in spite of what she says outwardly, she actually does have feelings for him, which infuriates her false-ego. While this ego demands that she show herself as superior.
Her entire defense strategy prevents her from openly letting him reach-out as a source of support (granted, most of the series has him waiting to be helped himself, but there are hints when he starts catching on to Asuka's charade).
Her own anger betrays her pleas, such as the well-known kiss scene. When she runs off, it looks less out of disgust, and more out of disappointment in the fact that Shinji made no attempt to hold her.
For what it is worth, I think comparing Asuka to Misato, even with the kiss-scene in mind, is not really appropriate. Asuka actually shows disgust at how Misato throws herself into sex with reckless abandon (although, notice it always comes back to Kaji)
Remember, Asuka has been pleading all along for something much deeper than just throwing herself into sex; she wants comfort.
At one point she says that it makes her sick to look at Shinji. I'm not sure if this was in a hallucination or if he said it himself, but it is said somewhere "because I'm like you", to that effect.
Outwardly she will deny it as part of her ego's self-preservation. Her defenses hurt herself and put her right into the Hedgehog's dilemma. Sound familiar? The real Asuka, seeing Shinji's own experience with abandonment and unspoken cries for comfort, sees him as a kindred-spirit
Asuka Soryu, the character presumed by casual passers-by to be the quintessential fiery-redhead, is ANYTHING BUT. All of that belligerence, all her puffed-up anger, is just part of a counter-productive defense system, while the real character inside when we first see
her introduced to the series is a broken girl crying out for help from anyone who can understand her. And the only person who really gets it is too weak to force his way past her artificial-ego, and her ego will not allow itself to be lowered willingly by her.
Two characters very much alike inside, clinging to different means of avoiding pain, with tragic results
This is why Asuka is the greatest side character ever written, thread is done.
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