This hi-larious nugget of delight popped up in my feed, and it compelled me to reiterate why men should never, ever — under any circumstance, even under pain of celibacy — date feminists. Here is a bit of survival strategy for the worldly gentleman…

First, let me define terms. I’m not talking about women who mistakenly believe the current feminist movement has something to do with equality.

I’m talking about intersectional feminists. Third wave. Postmodernist, articulate, and motivated. I'm talking about the well-funded, well-organized, ideological feminists who inhabit liberal arts colleges, HR departments, and other rings of hell.

Few are as vocal or strident as Clementine Ford, or your local gender-studies major, but any woman who has been bitten by the intersectional bug must be kept at arm’s length.

They are dangerous people who have absolutely no place in a man’s inner circle. I’ve seen it up close and personal: men who attempt romance with these ideologues end up wrecked because they didn’t recognize the traps.

Trap #1: dismissing feminism as merely crazy. It has nothing to do with sanity. It’s about identity. Modern feminism offers women the precious gift of meaning. The intersectional feminist gets to be the righteous, noble victim who fights injustice. Just like Wonder Woman.

That’s a helluva drug. Don’t blind yourself to that motivation by dismissing her behavior as nutty. Doing so inhibits your ability to recognize pathological ideology in a woman who presents a reasonable facade, but whose identity still requires an oppressor to fight against.

Men need to understand this motivation because

A) if her identity requires her to believe she is oppressed by men, and

B) you’re the closest man, then

C) guess what’s going to happen.

Do the math. This is the stuff of relentless antagonism at best; false allegations at worst.

Trap #2: dismissing feminism as merely angry. This is especially dangerous for men who are tempted to rescue women from pain. If she’s attractive and interesting, and if (in your fantasy) she’s merely angry, then maybe you can be the man who convinces her men aren’t all bad.

Right. And maybe monkeys will fly out of her butt. No man is going to “rescue” her, and she will resent the hell out of any man who tries. This is true even for self-loathing men who agree with her ideology.

There is simply no way to win when her motivation is to lose. Feminist ideology doesn’t allow her to be treated well because doing so would undermine her sense of self. The better you treat her, the more disrupted and reactive she will become.

You’re better off selecting women who construct a healthier identity — one that at minimum involves a bit of gratitude for her existence and her circumstance. Choose your inner circle carefully, men.

/end