Yesterday saw friends after an 11 week absence. Today woke from dreaming of others. Jason—one of Jeff’s closest—we talked & filled ice trays. Damion now in Italy—in my dream I felt his laughter in our embrace. I pulled up Liquid Swords & grabbed Adam cuz I know he loves the song.

I love friends. I love loving.
So much do I love my family & the partners I loved, but have had to amongst the fears & questions my brain at times holds my heart to—these things I long to lose. My friends I‘m able to love less encumbered, get to be in love more with the loving.

Like Toni Morrison wrote: “I wish I’d a knowed more people. I would of loved ‘em all. If I’d a knowed more, I would a loved more.”
I want it to be like that, I want this to be like this.

This the reason to put in the work, that all the people I love I can do so without or at least less hindrance. To love without anything in the way. I want this life to be like this. Think of how many people one could love if that? How big we could become.