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I had a boyfriend for 2 years. I had him but I lost myself;
โ a thread;
โ a thread;
so, I just posted this. I'll delete this if it's flop ++ this is the thread for how I overcome my anxiety and insecurities, actually it's a part of it.
might continue this later morning.
might continue this later morning.
simulan ko na nga HAHAHAHAHA
okay so nakilala ko sya sa school, he transferred sa school ko that time kasama bro niya (meron akong followers dito na kilala siya at alam story niya so ples shut up HSHSHS) but I didn't noticed them because I had a crush that time ++
okay so nakilala ko sya sa school, he transferred sa school ko that time kasama bro niya (meron akong followers dito na kilala siya at alam story niya so ples shut up HSHSHS) but I didn't noticed them because I had a crush that time ++
so, he's a typical bad boy, literal kasi palagi siyang guidance ta's laging napapagalitan ng teacher at napapalabas ng classroom. sakto pa na pinalabas siya tas nagaaway kami nung crush ko (yieh eneve)
h: init ng ulo niyan ah?
c: oo nga, e
h: lagay mo sa freezer
:)
h: init ng ulo niyan ah?
c: oo nga, e
h: lagay mo sa freezer
:)
tapos no'n am class ka kasi tas ako pm class then nung another year na nakita kita, e, kaklase na kita (kayong dalawa ng kapatid mo) lumipat kasi kayo ng pm class tapos pinaka first day pa, e, pinagtabi tayo.
m: ikaw yung makulit sa am class diba?
h: (nahiya) oo
m: ikaw yung makulit sa am class diba?
h: (nahiya) oo
we became bestfriends kasi bestfriend ko din jowa mo no'n tsaka may crush talaga ako so I don't mind you na nandyan palagi kasi nga bestfriend LANG kita no'n ++
another year had passed and we are still bestfriends not until yung crush ko sinaktan ako. I badly want a revenge kaya ginawa ko jinowa kita tapos ikaw go with the flow ka lang kaya g ka naman. I didn't expect na crush mo pala talaga ako kaya ka nag g ka.
ps: (no jowa na sya)
ps: (no jowa na sya)
tas nag break din tayo agad for some reasons. I didn't expect ulit na hahanap hanapin ko 'yon tas ikaw naman nagdadrama ka na bumalik na ulit ako. bumalik kasi crush ko no'n pero sadly, wala na akong feels sa crush ko (lah ang harot) HSHSHSJSHS ++
we got back together before we graduate (hulaan niyo kung anong graduate bleh) tapos after we graduate we broke up again, actually, you ghosted me. nag deac ka ng account, you often online, minsan nga hindi talaga tapos ++
your brother messaged me through his account na hinihiram mo 'yon for your 'girlfriend' kuno that time. tapos nagsumbong sa akin yung kapatid mo about doon sa girlfriend mo nga 
(botong boto chouuur) tapos nalaman ko..
yung girlfriend mo, e, yung bestfriend ko :)
++
(botong boto chouuur) tapos nalaman ko..yung girlfriend mo, e, yung bestfriend ko :)
++
after that, pasukan na naman, first day na first day niligawan mo na naman ako because you broke up with your girlfriend ayyy actually, you broke up with your girlfriend para ligawan ulit ako. (ewan ko kung trash or what basta gano'n siya)
9 months naging tayo that time :) ++
9 months naging tayo that time :) ++
but we broke up again before we graduate. oo devastated ako that time kasi ako lumuluha ikaw may bago na agad HSHAHAHAH (landi) tapos 'eto na yung time na parang kinukwestyon ko na self worth ko pati ng ibang tao dahil 'pabalik balik ka na lang sa taong nananakit sayo' ++
another year had passed and pasukan na naman, nasa ibang school na kayo pero nagsara 'yon for some reasons kaya bumalik kayo sa school namin then pagka balik mo, e, niligawan mo na naman ako ta's naging tayo na naman JAJAJAJAJAA (oo na sa 'kin na ang diperensya HSHSHSH) ++
and you year na 'yon was last year lang : ) and we just broke up again HAHAHAH last january 27, 2020.
and now I'm moving on and we're both good with each other when we parted ways. : ) I guess it's the last time for us to be together again because it's really.. tiring. ++
and now I'm moving on and we're both good with each other when we parted ways. : ) I guess it's the last time for us to be together again because it's really.. tiring. ++
doon ako nagka anxiety talaga, everytime we're breaking up I'm locking myself to the possibility of us getting back together. hindi na ako nagmahal pa ng iba kasi wala rin,,, kagaya nga ng sabi ni Sevi "ang hirap magkwento ulit ng buong buhay mo sa panibagong tao" ++
"โ ang hirap kasi kilala ka na nya, kabisado ka na niya tapos magkukwento ka na naman ng mga paborito mo sa bagong tao" yan talaga yung feel ko talaga pero mali ako, I'm young.. I need to feel free and I do not need to lock myself to my dreams of loving someone wholeheartedly. ++
and I needed 2 years to realize that. My dream wasn't him but his presence when I need him the most because he's there. Because I thought that he's the only person who stays with me but I was just blinded by love. ++
I was blinded by the thought of a person caring for me and loving me so so much. But now I opened my eyes, actually, He opened my eyes. Nandiyan pala Siya para sa akin, si God pala talaga yung nagmamahal sa akin at ang fam ko.
and to the special people (my friends) who stayed.
and to the special people (my friends) who stayed.
who stayed even I made stupid decisions in life, who stayed even I don't have purest heart, who stayed even I am no good at all.
and how did I overcome my anxiety?
and how did I overcome my anxiety?
by talking to Him 
He is and will always be the most person in your life everyday.
and I write to express myself. writing is my passion so I will continue to write not only myself but also for the people who believes in me.
He is and will always be the most person in your life everyday. and I write to express myself. writing is my passion so I will continue to write not only myself but also for the people who believes in me.
โ end of thread โ
