*wrong answers only

Nickname: Sugartits

Height: In heels, 5'2".

Eye Color: Depends on the light. When it's sunny, purple with flecks if yellow. When I'm casting spells, completely black, like my soul.

Hair Color: I'm living my Copper Shimmer fantasy.

Siblings: 17. Mama always wanted a big family, but I was the last one because when I was born, she said she had finally seen perfection and could stop.

Do I drink: Never. The drink is evil, it is a tool of the devil, it causes impure thoughts, it makes me want to post nekkid pictures all over God's internets. I stay away from Satan's Punch, thank you very much.

Crush: Orange, mostly, but sometimes Grape.

Relationship Status: I live in a mini-compound of 3 houses with my 3 brother husbands. We have several children and I own and operate the local hardware store, although I'm thinking of getting into the casino business. I have a "big love" for my family.

Sexuality: That's none of your damn business. Can't a lady keep anything private these days?

Obsession: by Calvin Klein

Favorite Store: Anything with Mart or Barn in the name.

Phobia: Lord, I am terrified of ladybugs. Have you seen the way they swarm? Or land on you silently, when you least expect. When you see them, they open their back shell & out pop wings & off they fly to terrorize others? Whoever did their PR was brilliant with this good luck gag

Cats or dogs: Neither. I have a room solely dedicated to my guinea pig breeding business. I supply 87.2% of the country's guinea pig supply for pet stores.

Biggest Female Celebrity Crush: Jocelyn Wildenstein

Biggest Male Celebrity Crush: Carrot Top

Perfect date: First, you'll take me to a nice restaurant, you know, the ones that let you draw on the paper? I crayons. You'll talk about your ex non-stop. Driving home, you'll roll through a stop, get pulled over, & when you open your glove box, I see drugs. Ahh, I'm falling!

Any scars: Once, I woke up in a bath full of ice, screaming out in pain. I have this massive scar on my right side now. Still not sure what ever happened that night.

Best friend (s): Fred and Chucky, my friends till the end.

Last time I cried: 15 minutes ago, between questions 13 and 14, when I was masturbating. It just felt so good.

Do you give second chances: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, ... well... you're not gonna fool me again.

Favorite Animal: the blobfish. I feel like he gets me.

Favorite Sport Team: the Butte Pirates.

Favorite color: smaragdine, it's all the rage.

Favorite flower: baby's breath

Most important person:
Who invented the Old Fashioned? That person.

Jealous type: why are you even looking at him? Turn around now, Becky.

Biggest wish: I'm going to go real on this one only... for a certain leader who shall not be named to cease to exist.

Biggest fear: did you not see my post about ladybugs?

favorite band: Munch's Make Believe Band

Favorite song right now: The Song That Never Ends

Tattoos or piercings: I have a tattoo on my taint that says, "taint misbehavin'."

Last person you texted: my daughter because she texted me saying "nice underwear" after my husband left our laundry in front of her room by mistake.

So, she knows I wear jockstraps now. Super.

(This one is actually true)

Favorite store: see number 11 above

What I love about myself: my ability to walk into a room with confidence and feel like I own it.

What I hate about myself: posting this thread (another true answer... )

Someone you miss: my hillbilly, redneck uncle Jimmy who told me I'd never be a real man. He was the best.

Where would you like to live: Branson, MO. I saw it in an episode of We're Here and it just seems so charming and welcoming.