I finally beat #DeathStranding. Took me 92 hours (a runtime of 61 movies.) I was just so engrossed in the world (and the building of a zip-line network...)

Anyway, below is my review: 1/10

@HIDEO_KOJIMA_EN @Kojima_Hideo @KojiPro2015_EN @wwwbigbaldhead @DeathStranding_

Some call it "an Amazon Delivery Walking Simulator," but it's more like an "Amazon Deliverer becomes an Army Corps of Engineers' Ghostbuster, to stop The Third Impact from Evangellion, with his adopted baby/tricorder and band of nutjobs, in world of metaphors/music videos." 2/10

THE GOOD:

It's a VERY Kojima style story, but I'm a big Metal Gear fan.

Superb world-building that connects nicely to today's political climate and Covid disconnect.

The voice acting and face capture were excellent.

The music was well-picked and perfect. 3/10

The weather effects and atmosphere are probably the best I've ever seen.

I love how they explain away video game troupes with story: barren landscapes, fast travel, similar looking NPCs, etc.

Yoji Shinkawa knocked the art style out of the fucking park. Very realistic. 4/10

THE BAD:

After you get a 5 star rating from a person, you never have to care about that person again, which kinda breaks the "build human connections" thing.

There's a few physics glitches that had me almost breaking the controller at times, whoops. 5/10

The dialogue can go from confusing, to really intelligent, to a force-feeding of childlike terms in the same scene.

The UI text was TOO SMALL, even with the patch. I had to use the PS4's zoom-in disability feature many times. 6/10

THE UGLY:

I would've liked to see a day/night cycle. It's usually day.

EVERYTHING is a metaphor in this game, from the names of characters, to tech devices, to organizations. Sometimes it's really clever, other times they're Dad-joke groaners. 7/10

You are spirited away to WW1 and WW2 battlefields, but because it's an American story, I would've liked it if the wars were inside our country... like, the Revolutionary War, Civil War, Alamo, something made up after 2020? Maybe you lose the imperialist symbolism though. 8/10

CONCLUSION:

Just play it.

If you're not going to play it... or don't have a PS4 (coming soon to PC) I recommend watching a "Death Stranding full movie" video on YouTube.

Yeah... it's gonna be like 7 to 12 hours long. But do it.

Or at least watch a full story recap. 9/10

I'm now really interested in what Kojima would've done with Silent Hill... instead, he built this entire world between the dead and the living.

The game gets my highest rating, "a 1 out of 1."

I guess the last thing is... I want a Death Stranding pachinko machine now... 10/10

Oh, and here's my rating at the end.