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This is a thread about my place in the whole "former gifted child" discourse.
For context, I am autistic (childhood dx& #39;d, which is relevant only to the way I was treated by the school system) with some other developmental disabilities including cognitive delays in some areas 1/
For context, I am autistic (childhood dx& #39;d, which is relevant only to the way I was treated by the school system) with some other developmental disabilities including cognitive delays in some areas 1/
but in reading and writing, I was always advanced. I taught myself to read at a young age and never stopped, and once I found out that in order for me to read a book, someone had to write it, I decided that was what I wanted to do. And to some degree, I was encouraged. 2/
(Of course intelligence is a social construct and being "talented" is a subjective thing. I also want to make sure I acknowledge my privileges and the fact that many kids get less support than I did.) 3/
I was in special ed classes and "behavioral therapies" my whole school career. I always had an I.E.P. Sometimes in the planning meetings, admins would dangle a carrot: if I could "learn to control my behavior," maybe I could apply for those advanced writing classes. 4/
But I could never act "not autistic" enough. I tried. I failed, over and over. I had the autistic making burnouts and regressions repeatedly, sliding further down the scale. I didn& #39;t WANT to be a "behavior problem." But I couldn& #39;t become a NT kid through sheer self-control. 5/
Meanwhile my writing was the one thing my teachers propped up. They entered me for awards, got me published in teen anthologies. Even though I was never in a gifted kid class and wrote those prize-winning stories from the special ed room, I had that One Thing I was good at. 6/
And because I received so many messages that I WASN& #39;T smart or good at anything, I clung harder to the one thing I did get praise for. When I transitioned out of school into supported employment and minimum-wage jobs I couldn& #39;t seem to hold, I internalized even deeper the idea 7/
<that writing was the only thing I was good at. And that& #39;s why the first time I tried to make it my career, I fell so hard. I wrote my first book at 16, but I had no clue about the business side of being an author. I was held up to show off my writing but I never learned that. 8/
I wrote 5 books by my early 20s, 3 of which I queried (badly) and gave up on (too easily). When just being the kid who was told "This is the one thing you& #39;re good at but you& #39;re BRILLIANT at it" wasn& #39;t enough, when it wasn& #39;t as easy as they said it would be, I lost my identity. 9/
I didn& #39;t try to write a book again for over a decade. I& #39;m trying the whole process again now, learning from people who were taught a realistic perspective. I& #39;m learning how to do the work and that I am a competent writer but I& #39;m not a prodigy and that& #39;s okay. 10/
I guess my point here is there& #39;s a "special needs kid" version of the "gifted kid" thing. Sometimes when we& #39;re categorized that way, teachers leap at anything we& #39;re good at and tell us "oh, this is your future" and maybe they& #39;re patronizing but we don& #39;t always know that. 11/
