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tw sexual assault / sexual abuse etc
I hope you're aware that you're talking about someone with trauma that affects everything they do and feel and think at all times? this was all set out clear to you beforehand. you KNEW about his trauma. https://twitter.com/luvandia/status/1264397471796658177
I hope you're aware that you're talking about someone with trauma that affects everything they do and feel and think at all times? this was all set out clear to you beforehand. you KNEW about his trauma. https://twitter.com/luvandia/status/1264397471796658177
doesnt someone saying “i’ll be anxious no matter what so just do whatever and i’ll tell you to stop if you want you to stop" be kind of a red flag? when you're speaking to a trauma survivor they will say whatever to /please/ you out of fear of what can happen to them.
because of past trauma!!! with a simple google search you can look up what people who experienced trauma might do when in situation they feel in danger! the four Fs "fight, flight, freeze, fawn" where not only did robin (or relic) have shown in most of the situations you speak of
this is said in both explanations! he would freeze up, run away and just accept whatever is happening to him at the time. and it seemed you never got any closer than just cheek kisses/hand holding. how would that indicate that any form of sexual activity is okay?
if you couldnt have regular intimacy, how could you think sexual was okay? and wouldn't it raise a huge red flag that he would LITTERALLY "run" away to get some water as a weird excuse to say no to a "CONSENSUAL" act? why didn't you give him more time when you see he wasn't ready
you imposed your needs and wants and pushes his mental problems away. if you couldn't hear the no that's not on him. that's on YOU. a trauma survivor STRUGGLES with communicating their feelings and its hard to speak about them. it may seem like he expects you to know what
he is trying to say or feel, but its simply cause he had his own issues. you should not have attempted a second time for sexual intimacy if your physical intimacy got worse. that's also another sign! you were purely ignorant having all of these signs and facts given to you both
before the trip and during! why didnt you do research? if you had his best intent in mind, i would use time to research how i could come forward to someone? and when someone tells you they struggle with physical touch, the first thing id think of is building to have a sexual
encounter? wouldnt it make more sense make him 100% safe on regular handholding and hugs before going further? YOU were being selfish. you didn't think this through and sadly you did force yourself on him.
here you have it explicitly said that body language is usually not enough. don't rely on that for consent. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU KNOW YOUR PARTNER IS! A TRAUMA SURVIVOR!
(source: http://www.dartmouth.edu/consent/communication/whendo.html + https://umatter.princeton.edu/ )
(source: http://www.dartmouth.edu/consent/communication/whendo.html + https://umatter.princeton.edu/ )
you didn't say you restricted his way of communication in any way so I assume he could have consented. He never fully consented beforehand since neither of you showed that. sadly you did commit sexual assault
(source: https://www.rainn.org/articles/sexual-assault )
(source: https://www.rainn.org/articles/sexual-assault )
it is unfortunate that this situation happened. but he has been harassed by someone who knew of this situation for months and that is not acceptable at all. you might be the sweetest person ever, but this doesn't change the fact you made this happen.
is it true that both parties could have done better to cause this situation to not happen? yes! definitely! but you cannot hide from the fact that what you did was sexual assault and the fact that you are super kind and nice won't change that.
im not only speaking as a friend of robin/relic. im speaking as myself who also experienced a handful amount of times sexual assault through same means because of past trauma. during the times I didn't give consent, besides maybe nodding my head in fear of angering the other.
a mistake only happens once. not twice.
I'm sorry for partaking in this but this infuriates me to these DEGREES I can't handle seeing that. This hit too close to home.
I'm sorry for partaking in this but this infuriates me to these DEGREES I can't handle seeing that. This hit too close to home.
I won't allow people to think this is in any way okay because someone struggles with communicating consent because of trauma.
i appologize for any weird ways of formulating things or making some things unclear; my English isn't all the best but i know most of it is understandable. ill try to clear up anything if you need it though
