TW: Rape

After seeing the post about the 7 yr old child circulating online, it triggered a lot of horrible memories. I was a victim of rape when I was 11; molested when I was younger multiple times. I had no idea what sex was, I was a child. I was only able to confide (1/)

to my mom when I was older, and every time I see news circulating of a child being raped, the surge of disgust towards my abusers and myself just sets in. I hate this feeling. I hate feeling dirty, I hate everything. Until today I carry the trauma, and as much as (2/)

people see me as strong, independent, and reliable, I actually have all these baggages to carry. I think I’ll have to carry this with me my whole life. And the fact that I’m living under the same roof as my rapist this whole ECQ is just hell for me. I hate it here so much. (3/)

This place, this house, it’s no longer home. But I can’t just leave, I have my mom and sister to worry about. But I can’t stay either. This will be the death of me, idk where to put myself. It’s like life doesn’t want me to win. (4/)

The anxiety of being in one place with your abuser, is just fucking me up so much. Idk how he has the audacity to even strike a conversation with me. I despise him so much, his presence makes me want to throw up. Idek how he sleeps at night. I hope this haunts him ‘til (5/)

his deathbed. He doesn’t know how this affects me until today, no wonder I grew up having so much insecurities and hating my body so much. I’ve also grew this discomfort being around men. The whole trauma just messed my head up. (6/)

There’s no happy ending to this thread, because honestly, I have yet to figure out how to maneuver thru coping with my experience of rape. Fuck, I really need therapy. (7/7)