(thread)

whenever you tell people you built (or are building) something, and they respond with things like "(did you know) you could do it with this X, Y, and Z thing that already exists...", it's interesting to examine their possible motivations.

1. they believe prior art will help inform your design and/or help you solve problems you may face.

2. they assume you weren't aware of the prior art and might be persuaded to drop your effort in favor of the existing.

3. they're wondering what's different from the familiar/known options, possibly b/c:

- they just like to learn
- they're unhappy w/ current options
- they're a little uneasy/insecure w/ their own choices

4. they're skeptical that a new entry into the space is useful and want you to prove/justify it.

5. they prefer to stick w/ established/popular/status quo options, for a variety of reasons, incl: support, project stability, crowd-shared dev, ease of selling to team/boss, etc.

6. they dislike your particular approach or motivations for any of an infinite number of reasons.

7. they dislike fragmentation and don't like that your project may divert attention (possibly from their own project).

there may be other nuanced explanations/motivations for that "just use X/Y/Z" statement than I just listed. and many probably have some mix of them in their mind.

what's interesting to me, and the reason for this thread, is how wide a variety of motivations drive one statement.

IOW, it's a very stark illustration of the frustrations of poor/inarticulate communication, especially online and thru social media.

how do *you* respond when someone says that to you? Your reaction says quite a bit about you as well as them.

have you ever said that to someone else when they built/announced a thing? did you stop to consider how someone else was going to take that? did you assume they would just know specifically what you were driving at?

I know for myself, I often bristle a bit when people say things like that to me. I tend to assume it's a bit more of a challenge than a genuine inquiry.

I probably shouldn't assume that, but I just tend to, in large part b/c it's very common for people to challenge me on here.

maybe we should be more careful and make it more clear what we mean, what our motivations are, for those sorts of statements and questions.

I mean, that goes for all online communication, of course. but I think it especially applies in this specific scenario.

the reason it's especially applicable is b/c when someone is talking about or promoting something they're building, it's very likely that their (perhaps fragile?) ego -- hint: impostor syndrome -- is involved.

definitely so for me. they're much more likely to mis-interpret.

this advice goes in either direction.

if we want to challenge/discourage, there are more effective ways, in being more direct w/ our language.

if we want to inquire/explore/learn, there are much more effective ways, in being more explicit w/ those intentions.

so, it seems like the "you could just do it with X/Y/Z" is rarely the best response, no matter what you're hoping to accomplish. it won't make you feel better to the extent you hope or that it could, and it likely won't make them feel any better either.

just some food for thought as we communicate online.

/thread