I typed like 5 different tweets expressing the same sentiment, the fact that I'm not okay.

Then I went through a whole process of elimination, thinking of all the negatives that can arise from me admitting vulnerability in here and why.

So I decided to type this instead.

I've been thinking a lot lately, about the exhaustion that arouses from having to perform for others.

Even when you think you're being completely yourself, you're somehow self regulating for other's benefit.

I'm supposed to be ok, and peppy, and role model-like.

I'm angry, sad, frustrated, very very tired, and honestly suffocating by the very idea that this isn't a good look and so it needs to be put aside.

I wanted to put it here, because I know a lot of people are struggling in different ways too.

I can't keep up with the theatrics involved in being "likable" I'm someone who's weighed down by a mountain of trauma, trying to tackle very real issues, who ended up in a position to influence others somehow.

I'm not ok, and I want to be able to accept that this is fine.

And if this affects my influence, my career, my future goals, then so be it.

I'm not ok, and that's ok.