12-lead as interpreted by a hammer homie, a thread:

Comfort Squiggles (NSR)
- Oh wow there's a lot going on here
- I think this is a chill pumpy boi
- You better thank him for keeping yo brain alive and shit
- If you ask me ”are you sure this is normal?" I'm gonna say no and believe whatever the hell comes out of your mouth

Stealth Squiggles (RBBB)
- Cardiac PTSD
- Everyone I've meet with stealth squigs partied HARD bro
- Tries to pull a lil sneaky on ya
- Right ventricle just wants to be left alone for a lil
- Social distancing ventricle

Angry Squiggles (LBBB)
- Yo wtf is goin on in the R waves
- Why tf they so sharp
- VT’s angry ghost cousin who bought some swords
- Two swords son
- Shank both ventricles at once
- SHANK ONE VENTRICLE TWICE
- Haha you crazy Angry Squiggles
- Fuck son
- Calm down

Disgruntled Squiggles (LAFB)
- You ever argue w/ Steve at work for paging you to the ER & it was like, not even a big deal
- And you wanna punch him but it's frowned upon in civilized society
- You make a grumpy internet post
- LBBBs less angry bro
- Get your life together Steve

Mob Squiggles (Bifasicular Block)
- OH you thought you only had ONE block?
- WELL GUESS WHAT NERD
- War on two fronts
- Not a problem until it's a problem
- Germany really had problems with these for most of history

Blocked By Gu Squiggles (Lev's Dz)
- You remember playing Plague and you create a sneaky bug to infect the whole world
- But then Madagascar was like SHUT. DOWN. EVERYTHING.
- Pumpy boi completely blocked
- He an old boi now
- Fibrotic AF
- Heart dementia
- Fuckin Madagascar tho

Sleeper Agent Squiggles (Brugada Syndrome)
- It's like being an X-Men
- By X-Men I mean having a genetic mutation
- Your superpower is that the pumpy boi just friggin quits bro
- Not really a superpower
- More like a curse
- If Brugada was a wizard he'd have the Dark Mark

Quiet Place Squiggles (JLNS)
- Huh
- What
- I can't hear you bro
- Just text me
- Nvm I'm dead lol
- What benevolent creator designed this

ULTRAviolent Squiggles (BiVT)
- CHRIST
- Bro why would you show me this
- Who founded cardiology
- Consult that guy
- I want no part in whatever is going on here

Glitch Squiggles (Dextrocardia)
- Took the legos out of the box and threw away the instructions
- Left is right and right is left
- Up is down and down is up
- Imagine building the Eiffel Tower upside down
- Laws of reality no longer have meaning
- God is dead

Saiyan Squiggles (Fusion Beats)
- Some part of lil pumpy got hit by a few very sparky bois
- 2 become one
- Can do the fusion dance or use Potara earrings
- Tried with my smol bro a lot
- FUUUU
- SION
- HAAAAAAAAAA
- Fuck that was so cool

Quarantine Squiggles (DCM)
- Shit bro what
- O N E C H O N K Y P U M P E R
- Lil pump really let himself go
- But this quarantine has been hard on everyone I guess

Jock Squiggles (HCM)
- Wait where'd chonky pumper go I liked him better
- I'm really sorry about what I said about your quarantine bod
- Just take my lunch money man
- Oh wait you're dead nvm
- Too swole to control

Tuff Squiggles (RCM)
- Rigid not thicc
- Seemed like a good idea at the time
- Can't really do his job anymore
- Hurting everyone around him
- Bro why are you like
- Needs a Cardiac Physical Therapist
- What do you mean that isn't a specialty

Ninja Squiggles (PMI)
- Stealthy AND dangerous
- Like you gotta flip the damn EKG upside down to find these assholes
- Rarely works alone
- Akatsuki member
- Tbh I'm scared to joke about MI's because last time I did they tried to take Dr. Glaucomflecken from the Glaucflock.

Deindividuation Squiggles (LMI)
- Never starts the fight
- Just here for the violence
- Opportunist bell end
- If he was on social media he'd be like ”hell yeah send the troops to fight but I can't go myself bone spurs or some shit.”

Murder Squiggles (AMI)
- Shot a bank teller during a robbery just to set an example
- Absolutely no end game
- Best friends with Lateral who just encourages him
- Originally from the south side of Boston
- Peace was never an option

Air Raid Squiggles (Wellens Syndrome)
- LAD artery adhesive capsulitis
- Don't wanna share life juice (blood)
- Hates pumpy boi
- Wtf did pumpy boi ever do to you
- Makes widows?
- Like spiders?
- Bro I hate spiders
- This means u have spider blood now
- Wow I really hate this

Hidden Squiggles (NSTEMI)
- Violent lunatic
- But like...sneaky bout it
- Like getting shanked in the prison lunch line with a toothbrush
- Or that tinder date that seemed OK until he invited you back his basement
- He had a house
- Why did he specify basement bro

Crazy Train Squiggles (Hypercalcemia)
- ALL ABOARD!
- Hahahahaha
- Aye aye aye
- Duhnuhnuhnuh
- Nuhnuhnuh
- Nuhnuhmuhnuhnuhnuh
- Mental wounds not healing
- Life's a bitter shame
- I'm going off the rails on a J Wave train!

Spoopy Squiggles (Hyperkalemia)
- Nazgul Heart
- BACK, YOU DEVILS
- Fire seems effective
- Don't touch the Morgul blades or you have to consult the Eldar
- But also I guess maybe don't eat 300 bananas

Sweaty Squiggles (Thyrotoxicosis)
- Yo
- His palms are sweaty
- Knees weak
- Arms are heavy, there's vomit on his sweater already
- Mom's spaghetti
- He's nervous
- Because his untreated Graves disease is now very apparent
- E/M code 99215 send it

Pumpy Bag Squiggles (Pericarditis)
- OSCE pt ”it's easier to breathe leaning forward"
- Wtf is a rub
- No I don't have a stethoscope
- Only thing in my pockets are emergency oreos
- And a hammer
- Heart version of Olecranon Bursitis
- By that I mean DON'T DRAIN IT YOU ASSHOLES

V O I D Squiggles (VFlutter)
- Eldritch veil of manifold depravity
- Sheer malevolence cannot be understood
- There be dragons here
- Someone once told me, ”it looks the same upside down”
- Like wow you don't say
- Nothing looks like nothing
- What a fuckin plot twist