Many plenty and most grown BLK women ventured through a pick me stage at a younger stage. Even the most radical of us went through it in some form or fashion but no one is going to admit the truth

Even with strong women in my family there is an underlying dog whistle that triggers the urge to play stupid, be performative “wifey” or slide into pick me. Takes time to shake that off and identify that. That’s why I give Black women room to growout of it cause its generational.

Some of our favorite famous southern black artist have grown out of full pickems to being able to function in society. But every so often you catch a lyric that reminds you that she still got roots in it... you know exactly who I’m talking about too...

Pick me is not just preforming for the attention of men... but also clinging on to deep seeded Misogyny. Judging other women openly on how they present themselves vs how YOU are a better choice because A,B, or C.

Even one of our new favorite southern women rappers have gone out of her way to say she is not a “hoe” she can cook, or she doesn’t have a “high body count”. It’s so deep seeded that sometimes it just bubbles out.

Example:

I dare you to be a single independent childless black woman over 25 at a family reunion or cook out. Get ready to have the aunts tell you why your independence is scaring off men, that your eggs are drying up, and why your cousin living her life abroad is a fast or selfish.

Get ready to hear how those shorts are too short for the cook out, why your career is the reason why your single, who the man that abused you is a good man and should have a second chance, how girls shouldn’t use foul language.

Be prepared to hear how your younger female cousin got a full ride to her HBCU if choice but her mother belittles it in hopes she can find a successful husband while she’s at school.