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Yesterday I shared my weight loss/weigh gain journey on my Instagram, and I was so overwhelmed by all the responses, that I thought I& #39;d share my story here as well.
Herewith my story.
A thread.
Herewith my story.
A thread.
I& #39;ve grown up as an overweight person for most of my life. I didn& #39;t really have a lot of confidence growing up,because I grew up believing that being thin meant to be beautiful. My (thin) friend and I were also nicknamed "Before and after" on school, because well, I was "before".
I had my first stretch mark when I was 13. When most girls had their best bodies going into their teens, I hated mine.
Fast forward to 2011. I& #39;m now 26. A size 20.
I went away with friends one weekend and when we returned home the Monday, I couldn& #39;t wait to see the pics of the weekend. It was truly an amazing weekend.
I went away with friends one weekend and when we returned home the Monday, I couldn& #39;t wait to see the pics of the weekend. It was truly an amazing weekend.
But all that I saw on the pics was my weight. The pics were posted on Facebook, and I untagged all my body pics. I was really really not in a good space.
I decided then and there I& #39;m going to do something. And really commit. It was really only up to me to do something about my weight. No one else could do this for me.
And on that Tuesday I joined the gym.
And on that Tuesday I joined the gym.
I weighed myself and I weighed 111,4 kg& #39;s. I didn& #39;t cry or anything. I was kind of relieved to do it, because I& #39;ve never weighed myself before and I finally did it. The worst was over.
Fast forward to nine months later. It was tough. Tough as fuck. But also doable because I knew this was all something only I could do.
I gymmed five times a week. I cut out certain foods completely. I ate al wat & #39;n blaar, and told myself it would be worth it.
I gymmed five times a week. I cut out certain foods completely. I ate al wat & #39;n blaar, and told myself it would be worth it.
I weighed 71,4 kg& #39;s.
I have lost 40 kg& #39;s.
I was a size 10 (or an 8, depending what day it was).
I have lost 40 kg& #39;s.
I was a size 10 (or an 8, depending what day it was).
And then this whole new world started. A lot changed. I had more confidence. Boys who would never look at me, skielik liked me. I could wear anything I wanted and shop anywhere without ever hating my body.
Don& #39;t even get me started on fitting on clothes in changing rooms - it was so different.
I didn& #39;t cry myself to sleep anymore.
I didn& #39;t cry myself to sleep anymore.
But...I wasn& #39;t healthy. I was obsessed. I would weigh myself all the time. I remember one braai at a friend& #39;s house and how I weighed myself on their bathroom scale and I weighed 2 kg& #39;s more than what I thought I weighed. My entire mood changed that evening after that.
The years after that I gradually started picking up weight again. Slowly, but I did. I quit smoking after ten years, and I picked up even more weight.
I kind of stopped weighing myself because I felt what& #39;s the point. I& #39;m just gonna be faced with a number I didn& #39;t wanna see.
I kind of stopped weighing myself because I felt what& #39;s the point. I& #39;m just gonna be faced with a number I didn& #39;t wanna see.
Over the next few years, I would train and exercise, but it would always be because of my weight. Exercise to me would be something I would have to do more of when I knew I over indulged a little bit more than usual.
Training was never solely because it was good for my mind, body and soul. I would see it as a form of punishment for the food I put in my body. I didn& #39;t enjoy training, because I only saw it as something I had to do to try and lose weight.
So, for the past ten years, I& #39;ve always had this love/hate relationship with myself and my body.
Recently, I thought: Enough.
Recently, I thought: Enough.
