[VENT]
I'm still not sure about how I want to identify, and if I want the word "lesbian" tied to my identity
Because I'm not woman-aligned. I do like some things that are feminine, but not because of that. I just like things that are pretty, things that allows me to visually stim

Like glitter, shiny things, things that are usually found in "girly" things. I like pastel colors because they soothe me and I'm extremely anxious and stressed out.
I love nails because I can constantly visually stim, as well as auditory (tapping) and touch stim

Stimming makes me happier + I'm an artist (in the sense that I draw) so doing nail art and wearing it allows me to both stim and have fun creating pretty things.

At no moment do I think "oh I feel feminine" or that it makes me more of a woman

if I was amab, I'd probably still do it.

I feel very disconnected from gender, and the more I grow up and consciously undo the ties between clothes, nails, ect and gender, the less I see inanimate things as gendered

But

I'm still afab

My birth name is feminine, society sees me as a woman and treat me as such. And I don't plan to over-perform masculinity in order to change that. It's their problem, not mine.
But I'm tired so I don't really fight it. My native tongue also doesnt have gender neutral words

So I slip into the woman suit like a costume for my everyday life, because it's simpler.

Doesn't make me less nb.

But even if I don't feel a connection to womanhood, I still have those ties.

That's why I might feel closer to the label lesbian, and especially bi lesbian

To describe my attraction that is majorly turned toward women, but still involves other genders

I'm still unsure.

Also I dont really go with the "homoromantic bisexual" or "biromantic homosexual" because I'm on the ace spectrum so it's a bit confusing

I say attraction as a big thing. I'm also fully out to myself and my family since pretty recently and haven't dated since almost 10 years so yep.

But the two last times I fell in love, they were a woman and a woman-aligned nb

So yeah...

This thread is really just me musing some feelings that I think might be useful to some to understand why some people might choose that label