Found out that a friends gran passed away this week & he’s understandably really upset bc he hadn’t seen her since long before lockdown & when I told Ma about it she went ‘oh thats just another drinking session for him then’ like what the FUCK kind of insensitive bs is that??

Lockdown has shown me just how incredibly petty, childish, & detatched Ma has become recently & I’m slowly starting to feel like while I’ve been open & honest around her, that maybe I’ve never really known her at all & she’s just now showing me the really shitty side of herself.

I have complicated feelings. Part of me wants to help her, bc I do love her & that’s just the kind of person I am, but ever since she pulled the ‘if ur gonna keep naggin me to take my meds ill just take the box in one go’ card I’ve been hesitant to talk to her about anything.

She’s been painting me as her personal villain lately, heavily comparing me to an aggressive parent. Keep in mind though, all I’ve been trying to get her to do is take the meds she’s been given. She took them once, slept well that night, & hasn’t taken them again since btw.

Idk where this thread is going anymore. I guess I just have to admit to myself that someone I thought I was really close to is actually an asshole & I’m upset about it. She definitely needs some sort of counselling, but she probably wouldn’t take it since she’s ‘given up’.

I should look into seeing if there’s any resources available here anyway for myself to use tho, because I desperately need to talk to someone without being afraid of starting an argument or hearing some emotional manipulation bs that’ll make my anxiety spike.