LOOK WHO CAN FUCKING DO IT

IT’S ME

Lots of people in the replies asking me to share how I learned as an adult, so they can do it do/teach someone else.

n.b. what worked for me might not work for other people, so definitely don't give up if this advice doesn't suit you!

I started a fortnight ago as an absolute beginner: no pedalling, never cycled as a kid, never tried to properly learn.

First is *buy a bike*, which sounds obvious, but isn't. Don't borrow someone else's - get something that feels like it's going to be with you for a long time.

Also, forking out £170 forced me to get over the embarrassment and the shame of having to learn something most people know how to do from childhood. I'm not about to waste my money moping mate.

Second thing is take the pedals off, and lower the seat as far as it'll go. We replaced the seat pole with one that was shorter, because the bike frame is still slightly too big for 5ft2 me. I went from having the tips of my toes on the ground to most of the front of my feet.

Ok so now the pedals are off and the seat is low, treat it like a balance bike. I found a quiet street with a bit of a down slope, and a one way system so I could see cars coming and get out of the way in good time without freaking out because someone bibbed a horn or something.

For the first few times, I just practised gliding down the road. So push along with your feet, build momentum, practise braking. My partner was on hand to catch me any time I started tilting/falling over, and trust me, it's much less embarrassing when you've got someone with you.

Then there was a Twitter storm with a deranged religious leader sending me literally hundreds of tweets and trying to get the police on my case. I don't think that's integral to the learning process though, you don't have to do that bit.

Alright, the next stage is PEDALS ON.

This is when you will inevitably smack yourself in the shin/pulverise your ankles, but pain is a good teacher and it won't happen a lot. Practice gliding like before, but then naturally you'll want to put your feet on the pedals.

Then start trying to pedal. You def need somebody (from your household, cos 'Rona) holding onto your saddle from the side at first. Arrange the pedals so you start with one foot ready to push down and forward, and the other on the ground to give yourself a bit of a push forward.

We were still on the quiet road for this bit, as the slight downward slope helped me build up a manageable amount of speed while still working out what my feet were going to do. There was lots of frustration and swearing at this bit. Hated every second of it.

Then this morning we decided to go to the park and practice on grass, because I'd been super wobbly the first time trying to pedal and needed to be a bit less afraid of falling over.

The first time we tried pedalling today, my boyfriend let go of the saddle, and I went off cycling no problem. It all just clicked, all of a sudden, and I could do it every time. Could even turn the first go - which I'd never tried before - and felt much more comfortable braking.

What worked for me was doing little burst of practice frequently, rather than trying to knock it all out in one afternoon or something. The progress I've made has been from about 4 or 5 sessions over 2 weeks, with nothing lasting longer than 30 mins or an hour tops.

Honestly, I think for adult learners, the little and often approach is so important. Because you put so much pressure on yourself that when you hit a (metaphorical) wall, you get so in your head that it becomes really hard to solve whatever little issue it is that's in your way.

You're also fighting against your own instincts to STOP DOING THE WOBBLY THING. Your whole body is like "what the fuck, why are we doing this thing, you're going to smash your skull open and that's 28 years of thoughts all over the pavement."

So by taking breaks between practice sessions, you're letting your progress marinate, and somehow you're way more relaxed the next time you try. I dunno why, maybe my body was like "Fine, we're doing this again? Splatter on the pavement and die, see if I care, I won't stop you."

You end up making huge leaps between the end of your last practice and the start of your next one, it's wild.

Anyway if you're thinking of learning, definitely give it a go. Don't learn like you're a kid, respect the fact it's more difficult for adults, and be kind to yourself.