Read on Twitter
So I’ve been debating on either sharing a thread about my recently deceased #DND PC or writing a piece and throwing it on a blog I don’t keep up with. Well, here we are.
“To Helena” by your biggest fan
“To Helena” by your biggest fan
Lol jk this will actually be pretty lighthearted. We have some great serious RP moments, but for the most part we live up to our self-given name...
Dumbasses play Dungeons and Dragons
Dumbasses play Dungeons and Dragons
So we’re playing a campaign based on the Path of Exile (I think that’s right) game. I joined after they’d been playing for a bit and didn’t know yet if I could play regularly so I just picked up with NPC for the time being.
Helena is a ranger from a small forest village where she grew up with her blacksmith uncle after being mysteriously orphaned. The big bad kills her friends and a group of heroic exiles save her. She ends up joining their adventures!
Ok so now I’m just gonna share quotes I wrote down in my journal from our sessions, 95% of which will have no context provided 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy"> Her story is actually kinda serious, so I actually will probably write that down somewhere separate from this.
I got this idea from @wooaahhmallory or maybe one of the other ladies from their group who did this same thing a while back, and it had me rolling!
Side note: yes, I’m creating a Spotify playlist for Helena (which I’m currently listening to) and OBVIOUSLY the first song is Helena Beat. But here’s what we have to work with, so here we go!
I don’t want to put everything in quotes, so just know this is how I wrote it down.
I don’t want to put everything in quotes, so just know this is how I wrote it down.
It has also occurred to me that I should probably identify everyone first
Helena - me
Garen - Dylan
Mezrin - Jared
Ilyana - Megan
Lethaldrin and Kongor - Ninja
DM - Michael
Helena - me
Garen - Dylan
Mezrin - Jared
Ilyana - Megan
Lethaldrin and Kongor - Ninja
DM - Michael
Garen is invisible.
Garen was still seen.https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😅" title="Smiling face with open mouth and cold sweat" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with open mouth and cold sweat">
(Easily the least stealthy in the party)
(Later that same session)
*OMG THEY’RE FALLING 600ft!!!!
(Yes, still talking about Garen)
Garen was still seen.
(Easily the least stealthy in the party)
(Later that same session)
*OMG THEY’RE FALLING 600ft!!!!
(Yes, still talking about Garen)
Bernie at Weekends
(We spend an unprecedented amount of time lugging around bodies of dead party members)
(We spend an unprecedented amount of time lugging around bodies of dead party members)
Mez sneezes and we can all see in the dark now.
Of course, the diamonds we need are in a vault guarded by a dragon.
Dispell de spell
I ain’t going to hell, f*ck that noise!
(Literally 80% of the group)
(This is also the session I decided the party name Mile Low Club was the hill I was going to die (multiple times) on)
(Literally 80% of the group)
(This is also the session I decided the party name Mile Low Club was the hill I was going to die (multiple times) on)
Rule of Cool
That’s my brand of healing! (Tiger or me)
That’s my brand of healing! (Tiger or me)
Helena - “I don’t sleep in your room. How would I know [you don’t sleep]?”
Garen - “Well then maybe you should.”
^your OTP, folks
Garen - “Well then maybe you should.”
^your OTP, folks
Ramako, Ramako, tomato, tomato
Can I get a vibe check on the hand?
IRL TPK
IRL TPK
DM - “oh this is cool! You are currently stuck between a moving rock and a hard place.”
HEY, YOU ARE ON FIRE!
(Bc I kept forgetting like 3 turns in a row)
(Bc I kept forgetting like 3 turns in a row)
That’s wild! That’s wild magic!
“passage wa-“
“-ple live”
“-ple live”
Actually singing to Ramako, a god of light
“Our god is an awesome god, he shines”
“Our god is an awesome god, he shines”
Cursed is still magic.
Freezer burnt ice cream
(Ok I actually have no idea about this one)
Freezer burnt ice cream
(Ok I actually have no idea about this one)
Natural 20! But now I’m at 1 hp!
I’m dead
I’m dead
Garen accidentally astral projected and saw my soul, tried to heal me and called out to his god but it didn’t work.
(Explaining a large ape climbing a sheer pyramid) (I think)
“Why can a bear climb a tree? They’re freaking huge, but he does it anyway”
Also, my body is tied to the bear.
“Why can a bear climb a tree? They’re freaking huge, but he does it anyway”
Also, my body is tied to the bear.
Sure, but I think first we should take care of the dead body on your shoulder.
Please add Helena’s dead body to your inventory. Encumbrance rules apply, +4 to AC
Bonus: A Rose for Helena
Bonus: A Rose for Helena
(In Sarn now)
“Where’s the body?”
“Under the bed at the hotel”
“Where’s the body?”
“Under the bed at the hotel”
“Guys, we forgot to role play Hakesh’s reaction to the fact there’s been a dead body under the bed this whole time”
Cosmic sugar baby —> Garen @dylanjdelay
(The night of my resurrection)
“I had a feeling...”
*singing* “that tonight’s gonna be a good night!”
“I had a feeling...”
*singing* “that tonight’s gonna be a good night!”
Karuri speakers in one room, lame-os in the other
“Y’all” is universal, this is canon.
We’ve caused a city-wide lockdown, call is Corona
^ Also the session of Genie Mezrin, sewer cleric, and trash warlock.
Garen and Mezrin convinced me there’s sewer monster that will get us if we talk
Garen and Mezrin convinced me there’s sewer monster that will get us if we talk
Me - “are we wasting diamonds to revive a monster?”
Narrator - “and reader, yes they were”
Narrator - “and reader, yes they were”
“Ilyana, Garen, and Mezrin walk into a Blackguard Keep...”
Ape Escape 2: Sewer Run
Can’t do basic math, but I know my lunar cycle!
Also, Dylan and I constantly share the same initiative despite wildly different dexterity modifiers https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
Garen is bald.
Bonus: this fold-out map I taped into my journal for a dungeon that literally took 10+ hrs to play through
Bonus: this fold-out map I taped into my journal for a dungeon that literally took 10+ hrs to play through
But who controls the gods?https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤭" title="Face with hand over mouth" aria-label="Emoji: Face with hand over mouth">
*enter meta gaming pigeon*
Endgame is now to kill the gods’ god, sorry Michael.
*enter meta gaming pigeon*
Endgame is now to kill the gods’ god, sorry Michael.
“You get a healing, you get a healing!”
Then we almost tpk for real.
Then we almost tpk for real.
“Dylan, I thought you weren’t wearing a shirt!”
“Do you play Animal Crossinf in the nude?”
“Do you play Animal Crossinf in the nude?”
Mez working out is that guy on the workout machine stabbing a sword
https://youtu.be/DZ1mV64H7ws ">https://youtu.be/DZ1mV64H7...
I believe you had [a rock] in your pocket. And there was someone in Sarn named Dwayne.
