im always sad when i hear people have died because of cyber bullying... people risking their own life because they honestly have had enough and cant get it to stop.

it makes me reflect on my own reasons, when i tried killing myself back in 2006.
it also makes me reflect on the good that has come out of all this, and being able to voice my own truths and being able to hopefully be the person to help prevent a suicide from happening.
i have never been a fan of bullies. ive always been a target for that. doesnt matter how old i am, im just an easy target because im so different from whoever is going after me.

ive grown a thicker shell/skin over these years.
i use the report/block button more frequently
i have my limits of how much hate i can take, to be honest.
that's why i stopped doing stuff because it doesnt bring me joy, all it brings me is frustration and tears.

it can take me a while to process things but i come out of it much stronger tho.
i also am an easy target for abusive relationships, because there are so many forms, i get sucked in every time.

it's pretty sad actually, that all my exes never ended on good terms. they were all abusive and the relationship was toxic.

which is why im healthier being single.
ive also learned from this pandemic (ive had a lot of self reflection), that it hurts me more having fall outs with friends, than not having friends at all.

im content with having friends online, even if they dont last for a long period of time. i like having people to talk to.
i also dont need to seek attention or validation from people. because i dont want fake stuff coming at me anymore either. i dont want fake love, fake support, fake whatever.

and trust me i get that a lot. getting used isnt fun.
i am totally happy with myself.
i am happy that ive found art.
i am happy that i can see art pretty much 24/7 on twitter if i need too.
i am happy that i have the ability to share art constantly.
i am happy with the ways i use twitter
i know that people dont always appreciate what i do on twitter and i get blocked for that. for the way i use twitter, with all the tags and the links and likes/retweets, and whatever. but honestly, i dont want that in my life, people who dont like what i do.
i want to surround myself with people who love me for who i am. love me for what i do, even if it's just paintings of mine that makes them happy. love me because they see how big of a supporter i am. whatever the reason is, as long as it's genuine.
im happy that i can be a big help to people. it may not be a big help to most people, but from what i can see, what i do on twitter does help people. ive seen the numbers grow, the sales increase, the love that people have for each other, seeing people tweet the way i do.
i celebrate little milestones or achievements, because to me they are worth celebrating.

i let people know that they are loved, they are thought of, they were missed, or what they make me feel. i dont keep this a secret. because i myself would like to know these feelings too.
i dont give compliments to get compliments in return.

i give compliments:
- to make them smile
- to make their day
- to warm their heart

because you never know what they are dealing with that day, and you may have saved them from harming themselves or risking their own life.
i know that sometimes i can come off strong or a little to hard, or pushy or whatever. but i do speak from the heart and my own life experiences too.

what have worked for me could work for you, and i dont mind sharing what ive done to get me where i am today.
just like i dont mind giving away free art. i know that is very much frown upon, but that's who i am as a person.

a little something from me, goes a very long way.

my dentist has gifts from me all around his office.
each gift i give, has meaning to it.
- i thought of you
- this reminded me of you
- this will help make you smile when you are feeling down
- someone loves you, all the way from canada
- we're alike
- i understand you
even if i have a fall out with friends, (which happens very often, mostly because my feelings get hurt and i go through panic attacks and it isnt healthy for me to remain friends with you), i hope when you received that gift from me it made you feel good at the time.
i know that my time in people's lives isnt meant to stay long periods of time, i come and go & go where people need hope or smiles.

that's the same with my art. a reason why i dont sell, because i get to control when & where it goes.
my art has a lot of feelings into it, you get to see my soul if you look hard enough. my art isnt for everyone and that's okay with me. im not meant to be loved by everyone and not everyone can handle the love i give either.
so for those who dont love my art, just keep on scrolling, you dont need to comment what you dont like about it or you wish i cleaned my lines or whatever.

my art isnt meant for you.
and for those who see beauty, please comment that on people's tweets/posts.

if you love something or someone, let it be known.

if you love what people do, share your thoughts too.

compliment people far more than what youve been doing.

we all need love and support.
since this thread was originally talking about people taking their life because of how others treat them:

please let people in. it's good for our mental health to talk to people about what goes on in our life and our heads

a lot of people can relate to what you're going through
You can follow @byloveelissa.
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