The ninja turtles theme song is both amazing and full of clunky lines.

"He's a RADICAL RAT."
"That's a fact, JACK."

This is also true of the Carmen Sandiego theme, which SLAPS, but also, "steal their Seoul in South Korea." Punning too hard.

"Run a scam in Scandinavia."
"Put the miss in misdemeanor while she steals the beans from Lima."
"She'll flim-flam every nation."

But that breakdown at the end is great. Rockapella for life.

(Yes I started listening to the childhood-theme-song playlist I made)

How racist is the entire character of Ma-Ti, huh?

But also, every star was on Captain Planet.

"Gonna help him put asunder bad guys who like to loot and plunder." Why

I need linguists on the lyrics of the golden age of kids' TV theme songs plz. (The 60s lyrics were bad. They barely have lyrics now. We millenials lived through heaven.)

It took me until I was like 30 to parse "tales of derring-do bad and good luck-tales."

Who were these lyricists writing for? I was 5 just like "duck tales oo oo oo."

The live action theme songs (WHICH I WILL GET TO) were so much easier to sing along to.

They worked too hard at these cartoon.

"Not ponytails or cottontails, ooo duck tales." WHY

(This is my biggest-brained twitter thread. I will show this to my son someday.)

When there's trouble you call DW. That's some lyrics!

Why is the Rescue Rangers theme song an entire legit late 80s rock song tho?

There's a saxophone solo. This is not a Rocky movie. They are chipmunk detectives.

80s/90s cartoon theme songs are their own genre. Should have had awards. They went hard.

Nickelodeon Doug theme or ABC? Definitely Nick, right?

The ABC theme was just... garbage

Honestly, the Tiny Toons theme is pretty bad?

They had classics within the show though. Toon Out, Toon In? WHAT.

That may have been on the one VHS at my grandmother's house she bought for me to watch for... a decade.

(Note: I am sober. I just think it's important to be authentic about my particular nerdery.)

I legit though Yakko and Wakko were really related to Warner Bros as a company.

THAT SHOW IS COMING BACK BTW.

But who were these shows really for? Why was Wakko from Liverpool? Why was the Brain Orson Welles?

I put the Powerpuff Girls on here because I watched it with my (much younger) sister.

That show was absurd, btw.

"We have a children's show about a nerdy aardvark. It is not Caribbean at all. In fact it's extremely white. Who shall we got for the theme song?"

"Ziggy Marley. Bet."

Live action now.

Family Matters theme REALLY doesn't match the show. That's some full house type music. You don't even know they're black in the music.

The extended Fresh Prince theme is way better. There's a whole interlude that explains the jump from "you're movin with your auntie and uncle" to him being there. It is much more complete.

As a kid I thought he took a cab to LA.

Also, the real house that was the exterior was owned by Bob Newhart when I went to see it on a StarTour in 2004.

All That wasn't actually funny, btw. The actors were clearly talented.

Should it be Kel who is on SNL? I mean, Kenan was the straightman there and he's the straightman on SNL.

Kel did all the work.

Having Coolio as the theme song for Kenan and Kel screams "THIS WAS A VERY SPECIFIC PERIOD IN THE 1990S."

Okay I'm done.