I’ve said offensive things, out of ignorance and without malice.
I’ve fucked up- because I didn’t know things were offensive or inappropriate- we ALL DO. It’s part of the journey to doing better. When it happens, listen, apologize, and work to change the behavior.

But- and I feel this is important- the times where I was called out publicly for my mistake, it was easy to feel attacked, rather than seeing it as an opportunity for growth.
Rather than grateful for the lesson, I felt embarrassed and regretful that I may have upset someone.

Tobefair- reprehensible, malicious behavior ABSOLUTELY deserves called out. If someone is toxic to the community, public callouts are necessary.

But if you KNOW the offender wasn’t meaning to be hurtful, private criticism and giving a chance to fix the behavior is more effective

Both solutions, public and private, accomplish the goal. I’m not here to tone police- I’m just stating my own experience on both sides of the interaction.
Intent should be taken into account- from both sides. We can help each other grow.