I’m just gonna shoot my shot here: I AM SINGLE AND I DONT WANT TO BE ANYMORE. Pros about me: I have a dog & a 4.8 uber rating. Cons: I can’t understand idioms and am allergic to avocados. Also I live in NYC and I’m funny & pretty. Help me out twitter!

RT so my future husband sees this

Also im thirty and yes I’m straight.. like my hair unless I’m feeling frisky and I decide to curl is and be fancy.

So like pop into my DMs if you like being the big spoon.

Oh and my insta is in my bio + I’m public

And this is my dog. Imagine waking up to me.. and her!!!! Omg