Psychological narcissistic abuse, a thread: when you set up boundaries between yourself and toxic people, you'll find that the mere act of doing so will get you labelled "abusive" very rapidly. As far as a narcissist is concerned, all of their issues can be laid at the feet 1/

of other people. They can not possibly do anything wrong. You could be mad depressed and at full mental capacity bc your family has had the worst year in ever, cancer, disability, addiction issues, and family break-up but things are always worse for them. Your life could 2/

literally look like a shit black & white french indy film with subtitles, or my prefered example of an EastEnders episode (I stan Shirley Carter, leave me alone), and it would still be all about them & their issues. No one else ever has anything going on in their life so 3/

when you step back and say "no", narcs won't actually understand what this means. Your act of saying the word "no" has also been pre-empted by a hell of a lot of emotional manipulation (it takes many forms, I've found this useful personally- https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3QtnfcMTMhEfRXN-Kk2vndn89nBZxKUj ) 4/

And thus, in order to come to the point of saying "no", you're at the height of what you can put up with at that point. If you have been emotionally abused, consider breifly that you may also have been sexually abused too. Again, they don't understand the word "no" & so 5/

whilst it might not be as obvious in appearance, feeling as though you can't say no because you are too intimidated and unsure of what they'll do if you do say no, this is for sure a form of sexual abuse. Watch out for the "raised eyebrows" or the look of disappointment on 6/

their face when you do say "stop" during a sexual encounter. Again, it's part of my main point in this thread really- you say "no" under conditions that literally everyone else can see, you're well with in your "rights" to say "no" but this person will make you feel like 7/

a garbage human being, all for the sake of a no. No one says no to them, so now just who the fuck do you think you are that you can say no? Actually you never need a reason/right to say no, that's the thing. A no is a no. Full stop. This is all plain as day to 8/

absolutely everyone else but the trouble is by saying "no" to a narcissist you have triggered (lol) in them the idea that they might have done or said something wrong, and narcissists never do anything wrong. So watch, when you do say "no", you will be smeared. If you're 9/

open about what you went through, you'll be called mentally ill. If you're self-contained and private about it, you'll be smeared as abusive. This is what narcissists do. It is also true, by the way, of tribes. Tribes do the same thing and this dynamic is a massive feature of 10/

all the main cultic movements. There is also substantial difficulty in categorising cults properly in that academics struggle to find where to draw the line, but the larger point, surely ought to be- forget whether or not this specific movement is a cult, that's deflection 11/

deflection bc narcissists can do no wrong but deflection all the same. You're better off dealing with behaviour on a case by case basis and if behaviour is abusive and cultic in nature- why does it matter if the movement is technically categorised as a cult? Just the cultic 12/

behaviour alone is a red flag (if outside of the group) & something that people need to seriously reconsider as they move forward (if inside it). But, the is it or isn't it a cult thing strikes me as a psychological blame/fault paradigm that isn't v healthy. Who cares who is 13/

better or worse? These arguments are pointless. Maybe just deal with the individual behaviours as they happen... but the thing about narcissists is that they never will, bc nothing is ever their fault & so self-reflection is alien to them. 14/14