As I slowly (but surely) get out of the worst crunch mode I’ve ever experienced, I’ve been reflecting a lot about what I want in life and for my career.

This has been on my chest for a long time, and I feel inclined to share it with all of you. Incoming thread. 1/

First and foremost, I am eager to not work nearly as much as I do, in general. For the last 8-10 years (this includes college) I’ve essentially worked 6 days a week with one day off, starting between 5:30 and 7:30am, usually working until 6 or 7pm.

2/

This stems from 1.) Having a 15-20-hour a week organist position, 2.) writing music for the concert hall, 3.) writing music for games, and 4.) private teaching.

Frankly, I’ve been doing all of the above at 110% because I’ve *had to,* for medical/financial reasons. 3/

This doesn’t mean I won’t keep working hard.

But I’ve learned that I need to take a step back and seriously re-evaluate what I’m actually *working on*. I’m only in this crunch because I took on an abundance of overlapping work (also some nasty, unexpected deadline changes).

4/

I’ve barely seen my wife in 45-some days, and to what end? Sure, it’s allowed us to save a substantial chunk of money for emergency / house purchase, but at what cost?

Fortunately, it’s opened my eyes to what I want to focus on next in my career.

5/

The last four years, specifically, entailed working on any gig that would financially help.

This hasn’t allowed any sense of skillful or creative growth. I’m grateful I’m able to churn out music on a whim w/o any need for inspiration, but I’m not grateful for the burnout.

6/

That being said, I’ve decided to push, push, push my efforts into the #gameaudio world. This doesn’t mean I’ll never work in the world of #newmusic again, but you could say that I feel more at home in the #gamedev / #gamemusic community.

7/

I think, deep down, I’ve sort of always known this. It hit me when I was with @WMGSO as they performed music from my score for @AndromedaINDIE. That’s where my heart is. Bringing my contemporary classical voice to games, and subsequently bringing them to the concert hall.

8/

I have nothing against working in #newmusic. I love making it. In fact, I will forever keep that door of opportunities wide open. I love that world, too.

I just want to be a bit more specific and selective in what I work on. No more working on everything all the time.

9/

Perhaps this is simply the next phase of my life, where I can be more flexible in saying yes/no. It’s tough to say. But the clarity of spending more time on game music vs. contemporary classical is very clear. Even though I certainly love making both.

10/

For those of you who have been here along the way, enjoying seeing both sides of my creations, thank you for being here.

For those of you who might miss seeing more of my contemporary classical stuff, don’t worry — I won’t be leaving that department completely. 11/

Lastly, for those of you who have enjoyed my game music, get ready to see and hear a whole lot more.

A shift has taken place, and I can’t wait to delve even deeper, with more clarity, motivation, and dedication to the incredible genre of #gamemusic.

12/

I apologize to those whom this might disappoint. But rest assured this is a decision that will allow my home life to be much less insane, and far more happy.

Thank you for reading. Here’s to the next mile in this insane, marathon-career of composition.

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