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Been thinking about this, trying to achieve more breakthroughs. I figured out a lot of the right steps needed to become a better version of myself. In this year, I got blocked by three friends. Only the one today told me the reason why. I can only speculate with the other two. https://twitter.com/BraydenSylva/status/1264205941265690624
I do have any harshness or resentment towards any of them as I know the cause of falling out was mostly tied to me. I'm not gonna shade them. I'm not gonna attack them. I understand why they did what they did. I am a difficult and complicated person that can be unsavory.
A lot of my friends, including the three that blocked me, claimed I'm not bad. That I'm good. Perhaps this is true but my mistakes and choices that were not probably thought out well, lead to a destruction of friendship. I'm achieving some peace with this as I understand.
The one who blocked me today was a best friend. I loved them. I wanted their approval and trust. I shared and there were things that were red flags to them. Perhaps I could have paid closer attention. Perhaps I could have asked honestly if I was intimidating or toxic in some way.
I will never hate them for doing what they did today. I understand if they hate me forever. When they blocked me this morning, I felt a sense of "This makes sense. They had every right. I disappointed them." I even dissappointed myself. I have to be better.
There are flaws I must correct. All my life, I wanted to be a good person. Be as good as I can. I never want to hurt anyone but unintentional hurt is still hurt. I overthink and I miss things. I forget to see. Out of the three, I especially thank the one who blocked me today.
You did the right thing and always confronted me when I crossed a line. And I learned. You couldn't keep teaching or be patient with me. There were so many years and moments I wanted to have with you as I saw you as my best friend. And I destroyed that potential. Those dreams.
I will never forget you and the moments we had. I hope you're happy and I'm sure you will be away. I'm sorry and I am grateful for everything. It seems right that our paths will not meet again, if at all. Best to you. I sincerely mean that. I think we will find some peace.
You're on the path to yours and my path is still being determined. I hope to be a wiser and better person and I will be grateful forever, old friend. Thank you for everything. If you do see this, I apologize for any unfairness or anything offputting in this thread.
To those that knew or know me, I love you and I thank you. I shall begin to keep my promise of being better. For everyone in this world, for my present and former friends, and for me. I hope we all achieve our moral and ideal goals in our futures. No matter the obstacle.
