My brain keeps reflecting on memories of my first marketing job when I was shiny and just out of college, and what it was like being a young woman in that experience. I was precocious, and my confidence annoyed every man around me. I didn't know what imposter syndrome was.

I learned quickly to value - very vocally - the experience of those around me. I learned to tread so carefully with my tone. I learned to be constantly aware of the emotional states of the men around me. I earned respect from my office, my team, eventually.

There are days that I hate I learned and internalized all these things.

But it's what I needed to survive and flourish at the time.

Even then, every vendor meeting, "outsiders" spoke to the men around me and assumed I was the note taker. Even after I was the head of my dept.

Eating at me today though is the memory of my first review.

Months after I started, my boss was poached. His major responsibilities were redistributed... which means I ended up doing the work no one SAW him do. This let me prove myself. Ask me to step up. I step up.

I took on the role and responsibilities of my former boss, and I knew I was valuable. I walked into that review knowing it. I wanted a raise, of course, but I also wanted my title changed, just one tiny tool to help encourage others to take this young woman seriously.

I'll always be grateful to that company for showing they valued me financially. They were happy to give me a very generous raise. But a title?

I was told I was too obsessed with titles and unimportant details.

I was told I was power hungry.

What?

It would be years of taking on more responsibilities and ownership of my role, mentoring new fresh faces, managing branding, architecture, marketing, production, product dev, everything, before they felt like a young woman deserved to be recognized for what she did every day.

And through those years... learning what imposter syndrome was... starting to doubt myself... agonizing over whether I'm power hungry or title-obsessed or have the right values prioritized.

Sometimes I wish I could go back and tell babu Lysa to be stronk.

Anyway, if you read all of this, thanks for letting me be a little self-indulgent with this thread. It's been on my mind, and I wanted to get it out there in case it resonated with young women today.