ranking english ceremonial counties but the twist is i have no geographical or historical knowledge

48. essex

i’ve been to essex once. i had been there literally 5 minutes and we stopped at a dominos. outside a police chase happened. then we were followed by a bunch of 22 year old chavs. also i had the rudest taxi driver i’ve ever had and he smelled like dead cats

47. lincolnshire

i hate lincolnshire. i think. i could be thinking of lancashire idk. idk where lincolnshire is but i’m pretty sure they stole our university and now ours is shit. don’t quote me on this i have no idea if it’s true

46. merseyside

is this where liverpool is? if so this is my dads influence. he’s hardcore manchester united so liverpool hatred has been drilled into me from a young age. it’s nothing personal

45. west midlands

most of my mums family comes from here and i love the bullring but the accent makes me want to shut myself in a washing machine full of razor blades and turn it on

44. west yorkshire

honestly i don’t know the difference between all the yorkshires apart from that this one has leeds and i’m really scared of leeds

43. east riding of yorkshire

why couldn’t it just be called east yorkshire. why did it have to be quirky like that. i don’t understand

42. suffolk

suffolk WISHES it was norfolk. suffolk can smd honestly there’s no point in it existing. norfolk would swallow suffolk whole

41. derbyshire

derbyshire is really annoying they think they’re special. they act as though they’re the “centre of the uk” like northampton is but okay get a life u loser

40. county durham

honestly until like yesterday i thought this was in ireland

39. north yorkshire

i don’t trust north yorkshire. why is it so large but it doesn’t have a single place of note. what are they hiding

38. northamptonshire

i promise i’m being as objective as possible and i honestly quietly love northamptonshire but there is literally nothing here. like there is absolutely nothing notable about northampton or its surrounding towns.

37. greater manchester

i have a deep rooted fear of manchester because of my dad i’m sorry my whole life has been manchester themed i need to escape

36. devon

devon likes to pretend it’s the premier english holiday destination but honestly it’s just annoying to me. cornwall is so superior and devon is just in the way and makes the car ride like 2 hours longer than it needs to be

35. bedfordshire

is this where peterborough is??? because my dogs are from peterborough but otherwise idk anything about bedfordshire apart from the fact that i used to have a really scary teacher from there

34. surrey

i don’t know where surrey is or what’s there but it sounds very tory

33. isle of wight

the existence of the isle of wight pisses me off because the isle of man is clearly superior and it steals the isle of mans glory

32. west sussex

i’ve never been to west sussex but i googled it and everything about it just screams prince charles to me and idk what i mean by that

31. south yorkshire

the best yorkshire because i love sheffield but otherwise it’s just another yorkshire and there’s too many of them

30. wiltshire

i was looking at the list of counties and i have literally never heard of wiltshire like literally never. i don’t know if it’s north or south or midlands or what

29. hampshire

idk where this is but it sounds posh

28. herefordshire

i’m like 99% sure this is wales. idek if it’s near wales but it sounds like wales

27. staffordshire

i used to have a staffie called buster but he hated kids and just growled at me a lot

28. cheshire

if you can’t tell i’ve kinda got to “i know nothing about these counties” territory

i meant 26 this whole thread is a hot mess

25. lancashire

idk where this is but it sounds fun

24. cambridgeshire

i’ve never been to cambridge and it looks nice and all but it feels like a different country to me i just get vibes that it’s an alternate universe

23. berkshire

i’ve never heard of this place either but the name is really entertaining to me because i’ll never know if it’s pronounced bark-shire or burk-shire

22. hertfordshire

never been but heart breakfasts intro of HERTS BEDS BUCKS AND NORTHANTS is the soundtrack of my childhood

21. gloucestershire

once again no idea where this is BUT dr foster went to gloucester in a shower of rain was my absolute fav nursery rhyme when u was a wee bab

20. northumberland

i’m like 100% certain that northumberland and cumbria are the same place but they just seem really precious and innocent and i

19. cumbria

cumbria is better though because it’s name is c*m and it always has to live with that and i find it hilarious

18. whichever sussex has brighton in it

i’ve never been to the part of the country that had all these sussexes and surreys but in 2011 i was desperate to meet alfie and zoe in brighton and also my dad said it’s full of gay people so i’m never allowed to go and i’m rebel

17. nottinghamshire

my uncle went to nottingham uni (not nottingham trent he actually wanted an education) and now he’s ceo of some huge london company and super rich so it must be nice there

16. leicestershire

BIG UO LEICESTER my mum is from leicester and i’ve been to de montfort uni and it was really nice there so big up leicester!

15. tyne and wear

ive never been and honestly i haven’t heard great things but the geordie accent is literally the sexiest thing in the world and once i watched a whole episode of who do you think you are just to hear cheryl speak because her voice is so hot

14. kent

i love kent my crush is from kent and also my baby cousin lives in kent however it also seems outrageously tory to me so i cant put it higher

13. cornwall

absolutely gorgeous place. i’ve been a few times and i’ve adored it every single time. my brother wet himself in an arcade in newquay when he was 10 and it was so fuckin hilarious for me. however my dog almost fell off a cliff here so it’s kinda dangerous

12. greater london

i love london, coming from a town like mine london is like a whole magical world. i don’t know the difference between city of london and greater london but i put this lowest because it sounded kinda narcissistic calling itself greater

11. rutland

JUSTICE FOR RUTLAND. okay there’s nothing in rutland a part from farms but it’s next to npton and i’ve been there to walk my dogs a couple times and honestly it’s beautiful and underrated. mcdonalds is trash anyway.

10. worcestershire

i literally have no idea where this is but i absolutely adore worcester sauce crisps

9. buckinghamshire

BIG UP MILTON KEYNES. milton keynes is my fav place ever (ok my fave place within 50 miles of me). there aren’t shops in northampton so we have to go to mk and all of my best memories with my friends are in my shopping centre

8. oxfordshire

oxford is my third fav place in england. there are SO MANY cute secondhand shops and it’s just such a beautiful place. people in oxford don’t know how good they have it. it’s a little posh and stuck up but otherwise i adore oxford with my whole heart

7. city of london

again i have no idea of the difference between city of and greater london but i think city of london sounds kinda cool and authoritative

6. warwickshire

i had the best weekend of my life in warwickshire. we spent a night glamping in warwick castle and then spent a night in stratford upon avon when i was about 9? and it was so magical and i was so happy and a wasp stung me though

5. shropshire

my dads family is all from newport (the one in shropshire clearly) so go there a lot and i just have so many cute memories here. also there’s this alice in wonderland park in telford that i spent basically my whole childhood in and shropshire is just beautiful tbh

4. norfolk

this is the number 1 holiday destination for northamptonians. i go to hunstanton basically every single year and i just associate norfolk with escape and sun and happiness

3. dorset

bournemouth. that’s it. that’s the tweet. i met dom from don’t get done get dom in bournemouth and it was quite honestly the highlight of my life.

2. bristol

bristol is my fav place in the world. im gonna live in bristol as soon as i can. i’m studying at bristol. it gets a bad rep but every time i’ve been i’ve just felt magic- like it’s where i’m supposed to be. the only reason it’s not first is because it’s just the city

1. somerset

bristol is basically somerset so i’m counting it. my second fav place in the uk is in somerset (weston super mare) and it’s absolutely the most beautiful place in the uk. i’ve been so many times and i need the accent and SOMERSET

sorry if anyone was offended by this thread please be aware i know nothing about any of these counties