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I have a lot of followers that I hope just skip past thread but here goes nothing. Hi my name is Anthony, I have a serious problem with my mental sanity and how I react, act and or portray myself online compared to in person. That’s not to say that I don’t act weird and goofy irl
I’ve been online for many years, the earliest memories I have are probably before 2013 and my YouTube channel, but I definitely spent a lot of time on YouTube without an account. I don’t necessarily want to go into my full history on YouTube and gaming dating back to Minecraft in
2012 as I also played other games for many years but YouTube is an important part to this story. I am a male obviously and am 20 years old now, but I have a lot of regrets with the stuff I did online, sexually. Dating back to Twerking videos and strip teases on YouTube or movie
And tv compilations of people kissing, lesbian, gay and straight. The stuff on YouTube that you needed an account that said you were 18+ which I made one just for it and watched stuff on my IPod in my room. There’s even earlier stuff dating back to when I was much younger in my
Elementary school days and well the instagrams of my female classmates but let’s skip to 2015. In 2015 I was nearing the end of my Minecraft career and was highly in the anime community on YouTube, especially via Vine edits as they had the music I listened to, EDM, etc. There was
some friends online in a group I made, all of us around 14-16 most likely, me being 15. We had lots of drama and garbage thst was stupid. One of the other boys and me however shared explicit pics for awhile before we stopped and idk what happened. We probably blocked eachother or
Something and I moved on hanging out with my irl school friends, but still bashing out to anime and eventually manga. Which brought one to another addiction. Hentai. Hentai is literally the biggest form of porn online, and has so much controversy around it, especially in the form
Of Pedophilia. Let’s just say I watched all types, every single one. Now we get into 2016-2018. Continuing with anime & that porn. I became more you could say gay or bisexual. I played CSGO with my irl friends & did school work, but I read so much Manga and watched lots of anime
At first it was on Twitter dms with someone I don’t even remember but I got very sexual and homosexual with videos of myself. I’m pretty sure it was 2016 the same time as this when I discovered Craigslist. Back when they still had sex ads, even tho they still do now just hidden
I did the same thing I did on twitter with Craigslist, essentially catfishing at 16 or 17. Pictures, videos. Whether it was my post or replying to someone else’s. My body is out there. Always stated in my ads my age, & that I couldn’t drive and wanted someone to get me. You know,
the regular ramblings of a horny teenager. Every time after a few back and forth emails with posts I interacted with or people messaging me about my posts I would always back out cuz I was shy, inexperienced, scared and well, no longer horny at the time. I know, pretty stupid kid
There were only two times that I actually left the house. Once into a big old mans car where we backed out cuz he thought I looked to young and didn’t want to get in trouble. That was 2016 I think. And another time that I think was 2018 but could of 2017. Where I went to a house.
He picked me up and drove me to his place that I think he said he lived at with his husband or boyfriend and there was a dog. We got to bedroom and took our clothes off and he kissed me, with tongue, the first time in 10 years that I had kissed someone other then family members.
I felt sick, and stopped everything before we went to far, I sat down on the bed and asked if he would take me home, and thankfully he did. I survived what could of been something pretty bad. Anyway, obviously throughout the 2016-2018 there was still ani&mang-a stuff with me
Idon’t think I’m ready to get into the 2019 stuff yet because it could be considered pretty bad. & I’m not horny anymore 
. I’ll end this thread off by saying I am really bad & insecure with women & my mental insanity makes it worse and I just feel stupid whenever I message them
. I’ll end this thread off by saying I am really bad & insecure with women & my mental insanity makes it worse and I just feel stupid whenever I message them
I easily get you could say attached and form crushes to my friends that just don’t end well cuz I’m so fucked up. I feel bad bothering them even if they say I’m not, just because I’m some hopelessly annoying but shy somehow. I hope I find someone one day that cures me from this.
