Amazed this needs saying but your $4/month Patreon subscription doesn't entitle you to long passive aggressive emails to the author schooling them on punctuation in their content. You need to sign up for the $4000/month level subscription to get replies to that shit.

While you're inexplicably needing basic social etiquette lessons from a shy dork, here's another I can't believe you don't know: don't reply to an author's tweet telling her to smile. She doesn't care what actress you say she looks like. She doesn't like it, you're gross, stop it

Lest I be seen to be only picking on readers: if you jump in a tweet that didn't ask for recommendations to recommend your own book, just please, please know that no-one is clicking on that link. Not once. Not ever. You're a pest, stop it.

Oh no, now I'm on a roll (it's been quite a week on the internet). Ooh, I know, I know! Don't put public passive aggressive nags on bloggers' posts complaining that they haven't reviewed your book yet. They largely do this shit for free, you're being an entitled arse, stop it.

Aw geez, it's like I've summoned them into existence, so here's one more: sending a stranger a DM saying 'hi' or 'how are you' is like phoning a strange number and just saying 'hi, how are you', which I'm relatively confident you're socially able enough to not do. STOP IT.