i ranked the 101 departments of france! (saint pierre et miquelon is not a department anymore don't pay attention to this map)
if you're french don't take it too seriously please
i'm honestly surprised of who's my winner! anyway let's go!

101. nièvre (58)
prefecture : nevers
literally ZERO appeal plus the name sounds ugly

100. deux-sèvres (79)
prefecture : niort
nobody cares, nowhere but in the middle of everywhere, no interest, why is this still a thing

99. haute-saône (70)
prefecture : vesoul
pretty much dead and nobody gives a fuck

98. haute-marne (52)
prefecture : chaumont
zzz

97. cher (18)
prefecture : bourges
it's so funny to me that this place is called "expensive" and their capital is "bourgeois"! also it's boring

96. yonne (89)
prefecture : auxerre
it's very boring ngl

95. aisne (02)
prefecture : laon
seems inoffensive but i literally don't know anything interesting about this place it's very There

94. eure-et-loir (28)
prefecture : chartres
the chartres cathedral being the only point of interest of the entire thing... the rest is just a flat surface

93. aube (10)
prefecture : troyes
idk? it exists. and they have some lakes.

92. oise (60)
prefecture : beauvais
quite boring, beauvais included

91. indre (36)
prefecture : châteauroux
kinda boring... argenton sur creuse is kind of the only interesting place

a recap of the bottom 11!

i'm back for 10 more, starting with a controversial one!

90. paris (75)
prefecture : paris (duh)
yeah it's worth the touristic visit but i've been there too many times and the magic is now dead to me, this city makes me uncomfortable, it seems too small for how crowded it is, ofc at least it's active but i just not enjoy being there

also france is a country which is way too centered around its capital city and it's very annoying for us provincials

89. allier (03)
prefecture : moulins
apart from vichy and its national implications it's pretty uneventful! boring but not the worst

88. creuse (23)
prefecture : guéret
their name literally translates to "hollow" and ngl it kinda is... pretty chill but pretty dead. not the worst but not good either. nonetheless i don't get how much they're bullied when the nièvre exists

87. ardennes (08)
prefecture : charleville-mézières
givet looks good! the rest not really!

86. marne (51)
prefecture : châlons-en-champagne
ardennes' neighbour is just a tiny bit better! mostly due to reims and its historical impact! when you have to count on reims to save your reputation you know it's not really good to begin with

85. meuse (55)
prefecture : bar-le-duc
the international implications that that had! with emphasis on the past tense cause now it's kinda dead ngl

84. loiret (45)
prefecture : orléans
quite uninteresting ngl plus orléans doesn't look sexy

83. mayenne (53)
prefecture : laval
in the middle of everything, not bad just there

82. côte-d'or (21)
prefecture : dijon
meh. dijon seems cool, beaune as well, they also have wine but i'm not a drinker

81. lozère (48)
prefecture : mende
it has some cool stuff but it's so dead lmao... i wish i could rank them higher cause it's honestly a lovely place with really cool landscapes but it's literally the least populated department of the country

anyways good night

back for some more!

80. seine-saint-denis (93)
prefecture : bobigny
funny how they're named after a city that's not even their capital! infamous for being quite poor but they don't look too bad

79. charente (16)
prefecture : angoulême
angoulême is known for their comics festival and that's good they have this cause otherwise it's just an ok department

78. manche (50)
prefecture : saint-lô
our first coastal department and i wish i could rank it higher. they have cool stuff on the coast with everything around cherbourg and ofc the mont-saint-michel but inland... it's very uneventful and boring

77. loir-et-cher (41)
prefecture : blois
the usual loire valley stuff : castles, trees, etc. they may have the coolest castle of all but that's pretty much it. i didn't even know it was there

76. eure (27)
prefecture : évreux
they've been bullied too much by parisians cause it's the empty department on their way to the beach. it's not THAT bad

75. hauts-de-seine (92)
prefecture : nanterre
the posh side of paris, home of the infamous balkany couple, it looks kinda nice, they also have la défense but i'm pretty unopiniated about it

74. loire (42)
prefecture : saint-étienne
seems okay plus, close to a big city, i don't have much of an opinion on it tbh it's cool i guess

73. orne (61)
prefecture : alençon
i'd say boring but this time idk i don't want to be mean? it seems boring maybe but chill? and lovely?

72. sarthe (72, it had to happen at one point)
prefecture : le mans
famous for the motor race otherwise pretty random, seems nice to live there tho

71. maine-et-loire (49)
prefecture : angers
kinda same as the sarthe, it's quite average : a medium-sized city, towns, villages, fields, a big river, smaller rivers, idk it lacks of a proper identity

recap!

70. corrèze (19)
prefecture : tulle
okay tier but it's quite funny how two former french presidents are linked to this very small place

69. doubs (25)
prefecture : besançon
besançon is honestly beautiful, they have a few cool natural spots but otherwise it's not that interesting

68. haute-loire (43)
prefecture : le-puy-en-velay
boring mountain overall but aiguilhe looks amazing

67. essonne (91)
prefecture : évry
idk what think about them they seem good enough... évry has an interesting architecture tho

66. vienne (86)
prefecture : poitiers
they're quite proud of having the futuroscope! and they should cause that's the only sort of interesting stuff they have. the rest is just okay

65. val-de-marne (94)
prefecture : créteil
i don't have much to say? it's the good enough side of paris

64. yvelines (78)
prefecture : versailles
obviously the castle of versailles is there, but not only that! they have some nature and overall it seems to be a nice place

63. gers (32)
prefecture : auch
a few cool bits here and there but overall it's just okay. there is cool stuff but it's too spread out

62. indre-et-loire (37)
prefecture : tours
nice castles, tours seems cool... apart from that not much to say

61. loire-atlantique (44)
prefecture : nantes
nantes has the machines of the isle but also roundabouts and dupont de ligonnès... the rest idk the coast looks cool

im taking a break

back. i'm probably gonna do just 10 or 20 more today cause I have other stuff to do but before we go, french twitter found my thread so un petit message à mes amis français.

ce classement est pas du tout objectif et fait à la va-vite donc il peut y avoir des incohérences dans les commentaires, aussi je connais pas tout par cœur donc y a beaucoup de ces appréciations qui se sont faites au feeling

j'en vois qui follow et j'imagine que c'est pour voir l'avancée du thread mais attention ici normalement je parle que d'eurovision et en anglais et vous risquez d'être vite saoulé (stream HANO by NINO PRSES). sinon j'ai un main @slippingadru. anyway letsgo

60. haute-vienne (87)
prefecture : limoges
i always found limoges quite cool? idk why cause that place is kinda empty but at the same time it's kinda nice

59. saône-et-loire (71)
prefecture : mâcon
it has some cool spots but it feels like a north extension of lyon at times

58. landes (40)
prefecture : mont-de-marsan
the coast is cool, the rest is just a big forest. forests are cool! but could you come up with something else

57. ain (01)
prefecture : bourg-en-bresse
it's always cool when it's mountainous, so the ain is cool without being particularly superior to the other mountainous departments

56. seine-et-marne (77)
prefecture : melun
it's between the stressful part of france and the boring one but surprisingly it ends up being good! especially the fontainebleau forest

55. moselle (57)
prefecture : metz
(sorry for the watermark on the flag but that was the only picture of it of decent quality)
metz looks cool, the rest idk much but it doesn't look bad

54. lot-et-garonne (47)
prefecture : agen
overall a cool department but it lacks of a landmark or a monument idk something to make it more appealing and distinct. nope the agen prune doesn't count

53. aveyron (12)
prefecture : rodez
overall okay but they have the millau viaduct

52. puy-de-dôme (63)
prefecture : clermont-ferrand
(once again apologies for the flag)
clermont ferrand with their cool looking d4rk cathedral and the puy de dôme itself seem to be the highlights of the place, the rest idk it looks okay

51. isère (38)
prefecture : grenoble
seems like a cool place to live but idk much about it

and we're halfway through!
- brittany, paca, corsica and the overseas departments are still 100% alive!
- centre val de loire is the only dead region
- former regions of nord pas de calais and alsace are still 100% there
- former limousin, champagne ardenne and burgundy are dead

50. aude (11)
prefecture : carcassonne
the cité de carcassonne and the canal du midi are the highlights of this place, the rest is cool but not of their level

49. alpes-de-haute-provence (04)
prefecture : digne-les-bains
mountains! cool! not the coolest but i take it

48. somme (80)
prefecture : amiens
the baie de somme is THE highlight of this place, also why is amiens not existing a recurring joke? at least they have those cool looking hortillonnages. bully beauvais instead

47. tarn-et-garonne (82)
prefecture : montauban
the east looks good, the west is just a pretty ordinary valley, overall it seems like a nice place to live

46. calvados (14)
prefecture : caen
a place full of war history, interesting! it also has honfleur BUT it also has the worst interchange in existence (porte de paris i hate you)

45. guyane (973)
prefecture : cayenne
our first overseas department! to still have an overseas territory on a continent is pretty unique but idk if it's really a plus. cool spatial stuff but the living conditions there don't look good at all

44. meurthe-et-moselle (54)
prefecture : nancy
it has a funny shape, but not only that, nancy looks cool, that department looks quite rich on the architecture side idk i'm trying to justify that placing

43. côtes-d'armor (22)
prefecture : saint-brieuc
my least favourite of the four breton departments, but still. it's brittany. it's sexy. and as always with brittany the cool stuff is on the seaside

42. haut-rhin (68)
prefecture : colmar
less good version of the bas-rhin, it remains good. alsace is pretty.

41. vosges (88)
prefecture : épinal
it's kinda sad they're mostly known for a child murder cause it seems like a cool and chill place? i'd like to visit some day idk it seems underrated

this is all i have to say... for today. see you tomorrow... maybe. idk.

back for 10 or 20 more! et un message aux français qui se plaignent que je le fasse en anglais bah mdr désolé ce thread vous était pas destiné à la base j'ai commencé en anglais ça restera en anglais. bon bah let's go again

40. pas-de-calais (62)
prefecture : arras
having most of the coast is an advantage but it's kind of a less good version of the nord, still good tho! full of nice places and stuff to do!

39. bouches-du-rhône (13)
prefecture : marseille
naturally rich, marseille is a cool city, the calanques slap, the camargue delta slaps, human activity kinda ruins this place. also plus belle la vie. big no.

38. drôme (26)
prefecture : valence
an average good department. why is it so high then? because it's home of the best french monument. postman cheval's ideal palace. LOOK AT THIS BEAUTY. gorgeous.

37. hautes-alpes (05)
prefecture : gap
it has kind of the same vibes as the alpes-de-haute-provence but idk i find them quite prettier

36. jura (39)
prefecture : lons-le-saunier
underrated place, it feels authentic and comfy, and it has the coolest waterfalls of the country

35. gironde (33)
prefecture : bordeaux
okay i'm from toulouse and there's a bit of rivalry between toulouse and bordeaux (which is kind of a paris wannabe oop) but i can't deny it's the better version of paris and that overall the gironde sorta slaps

34. mayotte (976)
prefecture : dzaoudzi (de jure), mamoudzou (de facto)
once again with overseas departments it's wonderful on the natural side, but they have violence, poverty and the central govt seems not to care

33. cantal (15)
prefecture : aurillac
cool mountain stuff and they have the coolest bridge ever

32. nord (59)
prefecture : lille
the rest of france has lots of prejudices against them but it's a cool place that has bounced back quite well from their industrial era! and lille seems to be a really cool city!

31. territoire de belfort (90)
prefecture : belfort
interesting history, cool identity, close to switzerland and germany, overall it seems like a nice place to be

and we're entering top 30 woo

30. val-d'oise (95)
prefecture : pontoise
they're cool. they have the vexin which looks good. they also have cool leisure stuff. the better île-de-france department i think. also they gave us antoine daniel

29. bas-rhin (67)
prefecture : strasbourg
strasbourg looks very cool and pretty! the rest looks quite good as well but i don't know much of that area. and as with the haut-rhin, alsace is cute by default

28. seine-maritime (76)
prefecture : rouen
where i've spent most of my life! apart from the people it's cool and pretty. rouen is cool when it doesn't burn! le havre is... le havre!

27. alpes-maritimes (06)
prefecture : nice
between the sea and the mountain, cultural hub but maybe too popular idk

26. vendée (85)
prefecture : la-roche-sur-yon
cool place to spend your holidays in but i kinda hate la roche sur yon for being the inspiration for the boring grid pattern of american cities

25. ille-et-vilaine (35)
prefecture : rennes
where i live now! it's welcoming, rennes is a cool place to live, saint-malo is a cool place to visit, the rest is lacking

24. la réunion (974)
prefecture : saint-denis
good looking natural sites, culturally rich but i know two people from there and they seemed tired of constantly living there so maybe not the best

23. haute-corse (2B)
prefecture : bastia
(they don't have a proper flag or coat of arms they just share the corsican ones with the corse-du-sud)
corsica is always cool but i slightly prefer the other side

22. guadeloupe (971)
prefecture : basse-terre
amazing landscape ofc but living there seems not to be as cool as it looks (i feel like i'm repeating myself a lot on those overseas departments?)

21. savoie (73)
prefecture : chambéry
it has cool mountain stuff, chill lakes, charming cities, cool identity

anyway! the last 20 for tomorrow stay tuned

here we go again! the remaining 20 are almost all in the southern half of the country. who said I was objective!

20. rhône/métropole de lyon (69)
prefecture : lyon
(this was the best flag i could find)
lyon seems like a really good alternative to paris! it's cute and close to the mountains! the rest of the department seems good as well with the beaujolais region and stuff

19. ariège (09)
prefecture : foix
very underrated! it may be very remote (and dead let's be real) but it has some cool mountain stuff. you can literally drive into a cave, how cool is that. also they have some cool historical sites

18. tarn (81)
prefecture : albi
am I biased by the fact half of my family is from there? maybe. but it's super underrated idc idc it's sad how dead it is considering it has lots of nice villages, and two very cool cities, it's really cool to visit and not so far from toulouse

17. gard (30)
prefecture : nîmes
cool place, full of roman stuff, nice nature things, aigues-mortes is VERY cool, yeah overall a really good department

16. morbihan (56)
prefecture : vannes
it has bays, peninsulas, islands, menhirs, it's worth the visit and it's brittany so it naturally slays

15. charente-maritime (17)
prefecture : la rochelle
it has fort boyard, it has the oléron, ré and aix islands, la rochelle is cool, the coast is amazing the rest is charente level but a bit better

14. hérault (34)
prefecture : montpellier
once again, montpellier an amazing city, the rest of the department is very good, the real letdown is b*ziers

13. var (83)
prefecture : toulon
it's so funny how it's named after a river that's not in the department anymore! anyway they have a nice coast and the rest is good as well, judging by this village i just discovered while looking for landscape photos

12. martinique (972)
prefecture : fort-de-france
(it seems to be their new flag? idk correct me if i'm wrong)
kinda same as guadeloupe but to me the landscape is better looking there

11. corse-du-sud (2A)
prefecture : ajaccio
to me it's just the cooler side of corsica

and we're finally entering the TOP 10
07 - Ardèche
24 - Dordogne
29 - Finistère
31 - Haute-Garonne
46 - Lot
64 - Pyrénées-Atlantiques
65 - Hautes-Pyrénées
66 - Pyrénées-Orientales
74 - Haute-Savoie
84 - Vaucluse
who said I was biased?

10. ardèche (07)
prefecture : privas
a sanctuary of nature and peace right along a communication axis of european importance, might be dead but idc

9. haute-savoie (74)
prefecture : annecy
savoie but make it even better. and they gave us misterjday

which means the top 8 is all departments I've been to! ZERO OBJECTIVITY!

8. lot (46)
prefecture : cahors
it looks really good! on the nature side it slays and it also has LOTs (ha, get it?) of cool villages. might be dead as well! but it's pretty!

7. haute-garonne (31)
prefecture : toulouse
toulouse is an amazing city, legends were born there (me), the south of the department is underrated and really worth the visit, the rest is a bit weaker in comparison but it remains a nice place to live imo

6. vaucluse (84)
prefecture : avignon
they have many amazing natural sites, many charming towns and cities, but also many far right voters! we can't have nice things

TOP 5 oh wow we're finally getting there

5. finistère (29)
prefecture : brest
brittany slaying as always, and it's also the breton department where you can feel the breton culture the most, and that's always a big plus and what makes it better than the other breton departments to me

4. hautes-pyrénées (65)
prefecture : tarbes
it's where the coolest landmarks of the french pyrenees are, there are too many of them and they're all incredibly beautiful, however tarbes is really uninteresting, lourdes in mid august is a nightmare and the north is gers tier

3. dordogne (24)
prefecture : périgueux
cliffs, rivers, castles, valleys, caves, this place slays in terms of nature and culture, the cities are cool looking but yeahhh it lacks of activity

Which means my top 2 is Pyrénées-Atlantiques (64) vs. Pyrénées-Orientales (66)! THE TWO DEPARTMENTS WHERE THE PYRENEES MEET THE COAST! is it obvious now that I love this mountain range? anyway! let's go!

2. pyrénées-atlantiques (64)
prefecture : pau
honestly pau is amazing, the basque country is amazing, they have cool mountain stuff and really cool traditions, an amazing department

pyrénées-orientales (66)
prefecture : perpignan
(idk whether the stripes are horizontal or vertical so have both)
the coast and the mountains are amazing, it feels authentic, honestly i can't think of a flaw. it's basically french catalonia and everybody loves catalonia

and i'm finally DONE! this was my PERSONAL ranking of the 101 french departments. that was wild. i just started this as a joke now french twitter wanna fight me. anyway!

now that it's the end everybody who followed me with this thread could you please unfollow me cause I'm just gonna tweet lots of eurovision shit now. you don't want this in your timelines trust me. here have think about things

also have visionary dream since it's georgia's independence day today