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Hello everyone. As many of you saw, I left Call to Action yesterday after a year and a half. I wanted to just briefly let everyone know why I left.
I’ve felt like the environment around the show has been a lot of bullying towards me for a while.
That’s not to say it’s been totally awful. There were of course times where they were supportive and fun, but that’s vastly out weighted by the times I felt unwelcome and unsupported.
The group actively fought against my leadership, saying they didn’t need it until they were in power and saying it was a necessity.
I was actively silenced and threatened when speaking up against bad members of the community when trying to ask politely that people didn’t support them.
And this is ignoring that a running joke on our biggest show was whether or not death was better than me existing. I was consulted about it after I spoke up about not feeling welcome and afraid to ask for it to end.
I felt if I said any more the group would ostracize me even further than they already had.
And the fans loved it. On weeks where people picked me over the Gaping Chest Wound I could look forward to comments like “Spence you are so fucked” and “Don’t give Spence self-esteem.”
It was horrible, knowing that every day and every show the audience and show runners would actively try and turn everyone around us against me. My peers and people I looked up to suddenly thought that treating me like a punching bag, which is exactly what the show wanted, was ok
And every time we finished a show in the past 8 months I’ve felt nothing but pain knowing that at the end of the day, no one would be there for me because what I felt didn’t matter as long as it didn’t affect the content.
I know I’m not perfect and I don’t expect Call to Action to be either. Everyone can make mistakes. There’s even some of that crew who I’d consider very genuine friends even now.
At the end of the day though, those in power made much of my time there a living hell where I had to take constant care of my mental health because I had days where leaving everyone and everything behind sounded better than one more call with them.
So that’s my story. If you would like to hear any more I’m an open book, but please just respect my moving on and hopefully I didn’t take up too much of your time with this thread. I love you all and thank you for being here for me.
