The other day, my mom asked me if I would find a sperm donor and do IVF. With what money? I’m barely taking care of myself.

And the way I see my career going in the next five years, how can I manage a child alone? I’m not moving back home for the Retired Grandmother Daycare option.

I won’t front. I’ve always wanted children, but I’m 43 now, with PCOS, maybe even the start of perimenopause, and incredibly single. My career dreams have barely begun to simmer. Everything for a reason.

Now if I’m swept up in a whirlwind romance with an embarrassingly rich & generous (+ good looking) man who gives me whatever I ask for, I’ll rethink some things, but right now, I really love being able to get up and go while being accountable to and for myself, only.

I can barely carry a 40lb box of cat litter and thought about the women carrying fully loaded strollers up subway steps. People do it all the time, yeah, but I don’t want to.