Thread by @JessKHardy2000, First time in my life I’ve stood up, fluffed up my hair, [...]

Jess K Hardy is Wet

JessKHardy2000

First time in my life I’ve stood up, fluffed up my hair, and said “Ok! I’m drunk enough to go couch shopping!”

#DaydrinkingwithJess

A thread

Let’s do this

#daydrinkingwithjess

Start with a Marcy scratch

#daydrinkingwithjess

After couch perusal, I’ll be daydrunk painting this bathroom. That’ll be fun.

#daydrinkingwithJess

Got flask in purse (thank god for no open container laws). Furniture better be ready for some serious couch snoozing.

#daydrinkingwithjess

Hello furniture store. I am drunk. And I am in you.

#daydrinkingwithjess

This is nice. I go nigh nighs.

#daydrinkingwithjess

I didn’t know they did gynecological exams at furniture stores...

#daydrinkingwithjess

Furniture is shockingly pricey.

Flower break

#daydrinkingwithjess

Whiskey makes me feel fancy.

#daydrinkingwithjess

Hubs “Did you just tell me to fuck off?”

Drunk Jess “No, I was just talking to that lady down the road.”

Narrator “Drunk Jess totally told hubs to fuck off”

#daydrinkingwithjess

Ho boy. I may be too drunk for this.

#daydrinkingwithjess

Red Rising cued up on the audible. TGR will get me through this. This medicine cabinet is my Apollo and I will paint it so that it dies!

#daydrinkingwithjess

I think sometimes when my inhibitions retreat in the face of booze, that we don’t appreciate ourselves enough. I feel this way now, staring down the barrel of this bathroom.

#daydrinkingwithjess

Am I done?

In other news: Lo, Mustang

#daydrinkingwithjess

Wainscoting is the devil’s work

#daydrinkingwithjess

Drunk lady see penises everywhere.

#daydrinkingwithjess

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